and Tera Hattaway
of Part One
Ed: My name's Ed Hattaway and this is my wife, Tera. And what
we're going to do is
we're making this video so that
we can tell you a little bit about our story with the Church
of Scientology. Specifically, with Flag Service Organization
and the L Rundowns that I did. And so, this story is about
what happened to us as a result of doing those processes and
being involved in the Church of Scientology. Right now, we
are not involved with the Church of Scientology and probably,
as we speak, we are being declared suppressive people. We
certainly will be after doing this video. But our intention
is just to tell you the truth about what happened to us and
what our lives have turned out to be after doing those rundowns
and getting involved with the Church and, you know, the high
priced services that they offer. So, we're going to start
by telling you how we got involved in Scientology. But before
we get into some of the other information. I'm going to go
ahead and give you my e-mail address so that any of you who
would like to get in touch with me can send an e-mail to me.
This is the address: Dochat@Lycos.com. And anytime you would
like to send me an e-mail with any type of question or any
kind of comment, whether it's a criticism or some help that
you might need, I will be more than glad to respond to you,
usually on the same day. Tera, tell them a little bit about
how you got involved in the Church and then I'll get into
my story a little bit.
Tera: Well, it was basically shortly after high school. I
had moved to Dallas, Texas and a book seller sold me a book.
I read it and then I was interested in finding out more about
it. So I went to the local mission there in Dallas. So, basically
I was public for close to a year and then staff for six to
seven years. And then the Sea Org for a couple of years, with
Flag. It was called the Flag Bureau back then- Middle management.
So, basically I had been very well connected and I also worked
with the WISE Group as a supervisor in the course room. So,
I would say pretty much, since '76, it is now the year 2001,
and we pretty much disconnected (to Ed) five years ago?
Ed: Yeah, for the most part.
Ed: As a matter of fact, this is today's paper so that you
can see the date. It is actually Sunday, February 11, 2001.
Just for the record.
Ed: Now, how I came into Scientology was I was about a third
year chiropractic student in the Atlanta area. And one of
my mentors at the time had become involved with the Church
of Scientology and he shortly thereafter disconnected. I think
he got declared suppressive. But what happened was he turned
me on to the management technology and that was really what
interested me because I wanted to become successful quickly
after I got out of school. And I knew that anything I could
do learn more about business was probably going to help me.
So, he introduced me to L. Ron Hubbard's management technology.
And so I became very interested in that and I connected with
some people who were part of Dr. David Singer's consulting
group. And that's how I became connected into Scientology
and I got very interested in the management technologies.
I read Dianetics. Got interested in auditing. I went down
to the local mission and started getting some auditing. And
I was regged for the Purification Rundown, which I did. And
I did have some wins with that. I had some wins with my Dianetics
auditing and with some of my other earlier auditing. And then
Tera and I met through a mutual friend. She was a course supervisor
at a WISE Group and WISE, for those who are uninitiated, is
the part of Scientology that helps businessmen and promotes
itself to business people, particularly doctors and dentists,
chiropractors, to help them put in the L. Ron Hubbard management
technology. But one of their key stats is the number of people,
number of WISE members or doctors who they are able to get
into Scientology services. So, I met with my wife
my wife there as a course supervisor. And we shortly thereafter
got married. And we got together with some common goals. We
wanted to progress up the bridge-up the Scientology Grade
Chart. And we wanted to get trained and we wanted to receive
those services all the way up.
Tera: And even open up a mission.
Ed: Oh yeah. We had goals. Right. Big goals of ours were
to promote Scientology. And, you know, when I first entered
into Scientology, I had some very specific goals that I had
set for myself. I wanted to be successful in business as a
chiropractor and the reason for wanting that success was to
be able to provide a lifestyle for my family, which would
include some free time to have with them-vacations, owning
a home and not having financial problems-those were the goals
that I had set forth at that time. But what happened to us
as a result of being involved in Scientology is that those
goals began to change. And it became the game of moving up
the bridge at any cost and promoting Scientology to others
at virtually any cost as well. So, we lost, somewhere along
the line, what our goals actually were. But to get right into
the crux of this story, things in Scientology were actually
okay at the local level. We had lots of friends at the local
org. There was not a lot of high pressure at our local mission
or local org. And we really generally enjoyed that environment.
The problems began when we went to the Flag Service Organization
and that was back in
we started with Flag in, like, 1990,
1991. And so our first services at Flag were for the special
rundowns. One of them, I think, was the Prosperity Rundown
that I did. My wife did
Tera, you did something there?
Tera: We did the Prosperity Rundown. _____________ Rundown.
Just a number of them that were being promoted heavily at
the time that they were released
the Knowledge Rundown.
Ed: Right. Yeah and there were several of those special rundowns
that we did. That was really our seg-way into the Flag Service
Organization. And our business was beginning to pick up. We
had been in practice for about four years, four to five years
at the time and had started to accumulate some money. We had
begun paying down a lot of our debts. We had purchased a home.
We had a nice home on three acres, prime real estate in Douglas
County. And things were looking really good. We had all of
our equipment in our practice paid for. We had a very successful
thriving practice at the time. A lot of income coming in.
And we had just really started our family. We had two young
children at the time. And, you know, we lived a lifestyle
that wasn't excessive at all. We simply put a lot of the money
we had into the Church of Scientology. And that was going
along with the goals that I mentioned earlier. So, when 1994
rolled around, we were just about out of debt. We had some
student loans left over and that was about it. Our home was
our only real big debt. And so, we decided we wanted to go
to Flag. And the goal was for me to go ahead and go through
some of the lower OT levels, up to, like, OT4. So, I had begun
sending money to Flag for that purpose. And plans begin to
go into the works about how I was going to stay down there
and my business was going to run with me being away. And so
we had some of our local Scientology friends, who were also
chiropractors, who came to fill in our practice and help out
during that time. But to put everything together, I got regged
to go ahead and borrow money. I had all the equipment that
I had paid for, my x-ray machine, my tables in my office and
other things. I went ahead and leased-I did a lease buy back
of about $17,000. I also borrowed about $10,000 on some of
my father's property. I took out a second mortgage on our
home, maxed out about, oh, four credit cards and put together
a little over $50,000 to go down to Flag, all of which was
borrowed except for the money I had sent. I had sent about
$10,000 to Flag that I had flowed over the past several months
before that. So, here we were
Tera: I want to iterate something on that. The fact that
he went and borrowed like that but we did because we went
into agreement on borrowing that much money. There are all
kinds of financial policies that the Church has on how you
handle your finances. And basically, the biggest violation
of the policy is that you shouldn't be borrowing money to
pay bills or to get what you want to get. You should pay with
the money you have. You make the money, then you spend it,
which makes total sense and which is how we were operating
before. Borrowing was an agreement that we went into with
the Church's way of regging, their technique was to disagree
with the physical universe. Because things will come out a
lot bigger, a lot better, we would be much more prosperous
than the amount that we were going into hock for to do these
services. So, we went into agreement with disagreeing with
the physical universe. And, however, the physical universe
did not agree with us. So, Ed will tell you about that.
Ed: Well, what happened was that I did the services. Well,
actually I went to Flag. I was supposed to stay down for about
four to six weeks. That was the estimated time that it was
going to take me to get through my OT preps and my solo and
to get onto the actual levels. And I understood that even
if I didn't get through that six weeks, I could come back
and finish some of the different levels if I needed to. Well,
as it turned out, I stayed at Flag for about two weeks and
started seeing my stats really crashing in the office. And
that wasn't really a surprise to me from me being away from
the office, the practice was me. And these other doctors-even
though they were great doctors-they really could not appeal
to my patients on such a short time span. So, I didn't not
expect that to happen. But I had to make a decision on what
was I going to do. Because I knew I couldn't stay at Flag
very long. And so, I started getting regged on the L Rundowns,
L11 and L12. L11 the New Life Rundown and L12 the OT Executive
Rundown, I think is what it's called. And I had friends who
had done these processes and done these things and they seemed
to like them and you know, some of them seemed to do okay
with them. Others, who knows, you know, they weren't doing
as well but it was very promoted that these L Rundowns were
the thing to do to help boom your stats- Boom your production,
increase your income exponentially. That was the whole promotion
that we had heard over the years. And you know, the doctors
from the WISE line are prime candidates for these L Rundowns.
So, being that I had a limited amount of time and I had limited
resources and I wanted to get the biggest bang for the buck,
so to speak, so I could really get production going. Again,
the whole purpose being to increase my stats, my production,
my sphere of influence so that we could do more bridge, have
more time, have more money and be able to do our OT levels.
That was the whole goal. So, I started the L Rundowns, started
L 11, got through it. I was feeling pretty good, stats crashing
all over the place at home but I knew I was only going to
be there for a fine item at a time and that I could get back
and turn the thing around. That was the plan. So, I go through
L 11 and got through L 12. And what occurred was at that point,
you know, it was time to go home. So, I felt great. I thought,
"I'm going to get in there and I'm going to crank this
thing up." So, I went into the office and started plugging
away, doing what I had been doing for years. And, you know,
this time, it didn't come around. In fact, it started to really
go bad. It was
people weren't responding. People weren't
returning back to us, our office. Because of the huge financial
pressures we put ourselves under began to create pressure
for the people in it; staff, patients, ourselves. I expected
that after the L Rundowns, I would be more OT, more stable.
I would be happier. As it turned out, my wife can tell you
how I was. I had my new life.
Tera: Well, actually, when he came back, he seemed more stressed.
And I was thinking, well, it's because of the tensions in
the office and he needs to address that. And then he'll be
able to experience his wins from the L's and let me know more
about it. Because actually he couldn't even go into telling
me any wins, really, other than it was
there really wasn't
much communication he could give me on the L's.
Ed: Now, mind you, we had just spent over $50,000!
Tera: Right. If you can't even share a win and he wasn't
sure. He, you know, he wasn't sure and he figured
actually, I remember him telling me, give him a couple days
and maybe the wins will then come to him or he'll realize
something. So, anyway, so I figured, well, he's stressed out
because of the situation. He's been gone for a couple weeks.
The office stats are down. He'll get it turned back around
as he has in the past when he has left to go to Flag and do
services because that was something that we were pretty much
used to happening when he would go to Flag. However, this
time, the stats weren't turning around. He was more stressed
and it got to the point where he seemed more solid. And it
got to the point where I didn't want him home anymore because
he would bring the whole family down tone. We would be having
fun. I was keeping two other kids at home along with my three
and we would just be having a great time, begin up tone, just
the kids and I. As soon as he would get home from the office,
you would just see this black mass around him. And I literally
could get a knife and cut it. It was so thick that I just
could not stand to have in my space. So I would actually get
the kids all ready and in bed a little early before he would
get home so that they wouldn't have to experience his solid
seriousness. And the kids didn't really know him that much
for, I'd say, that period of time because we didn't like him
(laughs) to be honest with you. He was no fun. He was a total
drag. And I was
he would go back for reviews
Ed: Yeah, well, I knew that something was wrong obviously.
Tera: Yeah. There was
you know, it was obviously, there
was something not right here.
Ed: So, I went back for reviews and I went back to Flag three
or four times in the next, probably, two or three months.
And we couldn't afford to do that! But it was sort of like
we were trying to catch the holes in a sinking ship to make
this thing work, you know? I knew that, and when Tera would
ask me what my wins were, I would say something, like, you
know, "I'm not really sure."
Tera: He couldn't even give me any!
Ed: "I could tell you that I feel different. That's
for sure. But I can't really tell you exactly what my wins
are right now because I don't really have anything to compare
it to. I don't know what's going to happen. I mean, I'm looking
for a result here." So, you know, here we were, I was
running back and forth to Flag, doing reviews, doing review
Tera: That we would pay for by the way.
Ed: Yeah. Well, you know, some of them were on the L's account
but then I had to go get some cramming. And I finally was
at Flag and I had actually CSW'ed to have a cramming session
with somebody to just get my life together. And during the
session, it was just funny. I had the realization that, you
know, I just looked at the cramming officer and I said, you
know, "I've just got to ask this question. Why am I doing
this?" And he says, "Well," he thought I meant
why are we doing the cramming session, and he said, "Well,
we're doing it to clear up any misunderstoods and what not."
And I said, "No. I don't mean that. I mean, why am I
doing this? Why am I doing Scientology??? I can't figure out
why I'm doing it anymore! It obviously isn't helping me. I'm
not making any headway in life. As a matter of fact, I'm digging
my grave financially. I've mortgaged my family's future."
And, you know, he gave me some issues to read and things that
were perhaps what a good Scientologist's reasons should be.
And I read them and I thought, "Well, yeah, being OT
would be nice. But in the meantime, you know, I've got to
get on with life here. So what came of all that was I just
resolve that, you know, this Scientology stuff isn't really
going to solve my problems. It's not going to help me solve
my problems. There must be something else. This was the rationale
and the mindset-there must be something else down the road
that I need to handle. Maybe the next thing will just open
this whole abundance of OT abilities that are lying dormant
Tera: That, by the way, seemed to be a standard operating
procedure, really in the way we were thinking on a lot of
things. We would hope to gain certain things by doing this
course or this level. It wasn't gotten and we'd go, "Well,
maybe it's because we'll hit the right thing on this level,"
or "it's something we're not confronting yet and it's
not at the right level for us to confront yet." You know,
we were always rationalizing the fact that we weren't getting
the amount of gains that we expected. And, to be honest with
you, even with the local organization here with the Church,
there seemed to be an air of being very happy all the time
and nobody could really communicate that you really fucked
up or that you really didn't get any wins. Because it wasn't
really safe enough to communicate that because everybody is
really supposed to be happy and everybody is really supposed
to be doing great. Because, after all, this is Scientology
and it just seemed like such a farce. It was like a game of
pretend to a degree.
Ed: Yeah, and another thing was that you couldn't discuss
your case with other people. It was off policy
Tera: Or disagreements.
Ed: Right. Or things, issues that you had
Tera: Or you would be written up or reported.
Ed: Right. Not okay to say that. Not okay to talk about,
You could talk about your wins but you couldn't
talk about your dissatisfaction or your lack of results. Just
not okay. And, you know, at the time, it was rationalized
in our minds. Maybe this is something we shouldn't do because
it might enturbulate somebody or it might make them have a
hidden standard or something. There was always rationalization.
But the truth of the matter is, in hindsight, we can now see
that the reason for that was that, you know, there is censorship
of what's said. And there's a lot of control on the communication
lines. And that sort of brings us up to
well, we had
an incident too where we were actually
after the fact,
we were still connected to our local org. We didn't go to
Flag anymore, mind you, but we went to our local org, which,
where I had had some wins in life. And I had no beef against
that group. They had really tried to help me and, in many
ways, they had. We went back to our local church and stayed
on course. And we got, because of our financial problems,
we began to, you know, do other things. I went into multilevel
marketing, for one thing. I thought, "My gosh, I've got
to do something else to make some income here." And so,
the person who was running this multilevel marketing activity
was a guy who had invented a memory program-a personal development
program. And as a result of his connection to that and our
connection to him, we were declared enemies of the Church
of Scientology by the continental East US. We were declared
enemies and told we couldn't do any further services until
we stopped being a part of this multilevel marketing group.
All of that, by the way, came off of a Scientology policy
directive, which we later found out is an illegal policy.
Tera: It's called an SPD.
Ed: Yeah. It's called an SPD. It's an illegal church policy.
It's not authorized by L. Ron Hubbard. And so, that made us
kind of go, "Well, the hell with it. We're just going
to lay low. We don't have the money to do the stuff anyway.
Let's just," you know, "work our business, get our
life together, pay off all these horrendous debts and maybe
we'll come back." Our intention was to come back at some