Ed and Tera Hattaway

Letter to Scientologist friend

 

Ed and Tera Hattaway wrote a letter to someone who has been a good friend of theirs for many years. The friend is a Scientologist who had written to the Hattaways to find out why they are now publicly speaking critically about Scientology. The Hattaways have given their permission to post the text of the letter on our website.

April, 2001

Dear XXXXX,

I wanted to take a moment to thank you for having the courage to write us about the very delicate subject of our decision to leave Scientology. We understand from being involved in the church for so many years the risk that this presents to you personally and we do not take the very kind gesture you have made lightly.

Our decision has been made, and since you have expressed curiosity about how we have arrived at this decision, we both feel that a response is warranted. We will now present to you the pieces of information that led us to this important decision in our lives.

1) Our expectations after buying the L's at Flag were very high. We felt that a high expectation was reasonable, after all, how many people spend over $50,000 for ANYTHING in their lives and expect nothing in return. You were witness to the aftermath. After repeated returns to Flag for correction and cleanup after correction and cleanup, not only did nothing happen, but rather, we found that our lives were literally turned upside down. We lost everything. As you pointed out in your letter, the technical lineup has changed and now the sequence is L 11, L10, L12. This is no consolation to us. LRH had set the original lineup at L11, L12, L10. Assuming that he is supposed to be source for the tech, it should have worked in the order that Ed did them. They not only did not work; they worked COUNTER to the expectation. Ed was not a NCG case. He was quite happy with earlier auditing and this was why he trusted that the L's would be a positive experience. Actually, after this we were still intent on going up the bridge, although for most this would have seemed enough to dissuade them from continuing on this route.

2) As for our use of the management technology, we had mixed experiences. While managing by statistics and using hard sell (which were the biggest concepts promoted by the various WISE organizations that we participated in) gave us an initial increase in production and income, the long-term effects were very detrimental to our practice in the following ways. First, applying conditions formulas on our staff led to high turn over and a number of close calls with the Department of Labor. We were beginning to address our staff on a personal level, as conditions formulas frequently dictate, thus breaching the employee/employer relationship. This would later have a negative impact on our patient flow, because the people who worked for us also were part of the larger community that we were marketing into. Secondly, our worship of the almighty statistic began to create a "pressure environment" not only amongst our staff but also into our public as well. Those few patients who were cordial enough to communicate to us about this would ask, "why all the pressure", or "what's with all the tension in this place?" At the time, we just did a non-confront on these types of originations and labeled these people as 1.1 or antago. Many years later we began to recognize that these patients had been very generous to us by voicing their true observations, albeit a critical one. We had begun to arbitrarily label any critic or critical comment as a 1.1 or antago comment, effectively "dead-agenting" the source, a major 3d aberration that is a mirror-image of the church's operating basis in our experience.

Thirdly, use of hard sell was VERY DETRIMENTAL to the survival of our office. This was a concept that was heavily promoted in the WISE organizations we were part of. We started doing pre-payment plans and generally following routing form concepts as in the COS. We found ourselves running on our patients the same tactics that were being run on us at the org and Flag. Like other management tech concepts we employed this worked well, at first. Income and production went up, we thought we were on to something. Then came the rash of repayments. Patients were talking on the outside and finding that other chiropractors were charging visit to visit and this would prompt the refund. I suppose if we could have threatened their eternity we could have silenced them and kept the money, but we didn't have the balls or the basis to hold that over their heads. What this lead to was an environment of high stress, no referrals and no returning patients.

3) Censorship of communication within the COS environment was a huge red flag to us, but only after distancing ourselves for sometime. While in the church the policies about not discussing one's case were rationalized with explanations that this might enturbulate other pc's or that it might give them a hidden standard. We bought this at the time. Years later, looking back it became clear to us that this was a control mechanism to censor the COS public. Why is it really not okay to discuss your auditing experience? Throw out your beliefs for a moment and ask yourself this question. What real harm comes to a pc if he listens to another's point of view regarding an auditing experience? Are pc's that are progressing toward clear and OT THAT fragile? The same conclusion applies toward the policies that forbid criticism and invalidation of OT's. These are supposed to be beings who have or are in the process of becoming cause over the physical and spiritual universe! Yet, they cannot have criticism? What REAL abilities do they possess? Neither Ed nor I have ever met an OT that we said, "Wow, I want to be like that guy!" The majority of OT's we have met are simply consumed with going up the Bridge. Most are financially strapped and many are divorced with broken families. Certainly there are exceptions, but come on, what's the deal? OT's simply have not been that impressive to us.

4) The disconnection policies of the COS destroy families. We have seen several recent examples of this. For protection of those involved, I will not disclose names. (Doesn't it strike you as peculiar that this would be a legitimate concern? Protection, from a church?) One mother in Clearwater was unwilling to receive auditing, was labeled PTS H and because she would not handle this, her husband, an OT7 was told to disconnect from her. They have a son. Now when the father calls home, the wife can only say "hi" and get the son on the phone to speak with his dad. She has to leave the room while they talk. The dad finds this arrangement unacceptable because he still has to be connected to her. He is trying to arrange for a secretary to pick up the boy and drive to another location so he can call his son without saying "hi" to the PTS mom. I will not even comment on my thoughts about this. Another friend of mine is in a similar situation. She realizes that the COS is not for her anymore. Yet, because she wants her children to have a relationship with their father, she is forced to squelch her communication. Her fear is, if she speaks up the ethics officer will enforce a disconnection in order for the husband to continue his 10-year OT7 grind. As an aside, this man is completely disabled and extremely physically ill. What kind of group does this to families?

5) You mentioned Greg and Debra Barnes in your letter so let me address some of the points in their case. Our decision to leave the church came before their declare. In fact, we knew nothing of their situation until after we made it known that we were leaving. Their experience only confirmed for us that we had made the proper decision. You can get all the details of their experience at lisatrust.freewinds.cx . Here are a few of the highlights. This was taken from a high crime report by Virginia McLaughty after she and the Barnes were declared:

"The auditor produced a pack of BFO's, an inch or so thick, covering the SOLO NOTS administration line. She showed Virginia the page that covers the history of the six-month check line. Virginia imMediately turned to the back of the reference to see if LRH wrote it. It was written by RTRC I/C Int. (This post is part of Senior C/S Ints office.) So, Virginia said, this is not LRH so I do not have to follow it.

Christina said read this part. This part said that:

"..in 1982 LRH was consulted regarding a situation with SOLO NOTS auditors at the time, to which LRH responded " get them in, get them cleaned up, and keep them cleaned up". Thus, the six month check line was born....".

Virginia then told Cosima the following: that's an LRH advice to a specific situation at that time and that there are two HCOP/Ls that apply to this.

1. HCOP/L Orders Vs Arbitraries says that taking an LRH advice and applying it across the boards is exactly what LRH does not want done.

2. HCOP/L Seniority of Orders, an advice does not take priority over an HCOB, and a BFO does not take priority over an HCOB, such as C/S Series 73RB.

Virginia additional note:

A BFO is a Base Flag Order. LRH's ADVICE (key term here), was for THOSE SOLO NOTS AUDITORS AT THAT TIME "Get them in, get them cleaned up, and keep them cleaned up".

Notice that this advice DOES NOT violate either HCOB Confessionals and the Non-Interference Zone, or HCOB C/S Series 73 RA or RB. WHY? Because obviously the above mentioned solo NOTs auditors were not progressing, moving well, were stalled, etc. etc. He applied his own HCOB's perfectly in the proposed problem to him.

The entire current 6-month check line is formed off of this onetime "advice" by LRH.

At this point, the terminals stopped trying to prove to Virginia, with non-LRH references and incorrectly interpreted HCOP/Ls, that the six months check line was a standard line. "

Now let's see what an authorized RTC representative had to say when confronted with this data:

(from my story)

"Virginia returns to Flag to meet with RTC rep, Marina Pezzotti. Marina says she has Virginia's security booklet wherein Virginia had signed and agreed to do six-month checks. Virginia says that' s not LRH and I should not have signed it. Virginia shows Marina the section of C/S Series 73RB where it says:

b) Pre-OTs in the area between the beginning of New OT VI (Solo NOTS Auditing Course) and the completion of New OT VII (Solo NOTS) may not receive any other auditing, with the exception of those services allowed in the No-Interference Area (between the start of New OT I and the completion of OT III) for pre-OTs who are stalled or moving slowly.

EXCEPTION Pre-OTs progressing well in the No-Interference Area should not be interfered with by Sec Checking or anything else. However, when a pre-OT is stalled or moving slowly, any of the actions listed below, as appropriate, can be ordered by a qualified C/S..

1) Non-audited PTS handlings

2) Confessionals and O/Ws

3) The handling of postulates, considerations, attitudes, evil purposes or evil intentions (False Purpose Rundown)

4) Service Fac handling (bracket method only, no R3RA)

5) Disagreement Checks

Virginia says this is what this is all about and its RTC's hat to get LRH applied, so I'm here to get that done.

Marina says there's lots of other references on sec-checking. Virginia then tells Marina she has read all of those other references and that LRH does not contradict himself. Virginia says LRH himself has said when he wants that entire subject of sec checking used and when he does not want it used.

Virginia says there has been black PR on her from Barbara Nelson, that its Virginia's idea that there should not be sec checking on OTs. Virginia says, look at this HCOB, what do the materials state? This is LRH, not me. Marina says ok, I see your point.

Marina then says, what would you do if you were RTC? Marina has Virginia read the RTC brochure that says they are responsible for the security of the advanced course materials. Virginia tells Marina that RTC's first responsibility, according to the brochure, is KSW and that this LRH HCOB was not being applied and that they should not be sec checking SOLO NOTS auditors arbitrarily.

Marina again says what would you do if you were RTC? She says that SOLO NOTS auditors lie, they falsify there worksheets, they don't pull withholds, don' t disclose ethics situations in their life, they have out tech and don't show it in their worksheets and it is our sec checks that find this out. Virginia says, I would apply LRH. I would find what LRH reference applies to the problems you're having and do what it says. LRH always has a solution.

Marina says yes, but I can't take any chances. Look at the situation in Germany. Maybe when the environment is less hostile, we won't have to worry about it and not do the sec checking all the time.

Marina says like the 10 OT 7 and 8s who resigned the Church in Germany. This is a perfect example of why we need to have this sec check line. Virginia says, no its not, it's a perfect example of how your sec check line doesn't work. Per LRH, you can't catch a criminal with a meter. Marina agreed.

Marina then says, well how would we know because these guys had perfect sessions? Virginia says what do you mean by perfect sessions? Marina says the worksheets say, SOS, F/N VGIs, EOS. And this is session after session after session, always perfect. And then this happens, they resign the Church, which was a complete surprise.

Virginia says, "perfect sessions?, that tells you right there something wrong. Nothing is happening. The case is stalled and needs a sec check per this HCOB". Marina says, "Well how would we know"? Virginia says indicators, the C/S has to know indicators.

Marina says, well I'm not going to change the whole line. It's not going to hurt you to get a sec check. If there is nothing on the question it will F/N. Virginia said not if you know its out tech and you're protesting it. Marina says it's not a technical point, it's a security point. Virginia then said, does he say anywhere in here that you can sec check for security purposes? Marina says no.

Virginia said what do the materials state, regarding sec checking of SOLO NOTS OTs who are not stalled or moving slowly. Marina agrees the HCOB says that you do not interrupt them.

Marina then says per HCOP/L Eligibility For OT Levels it says you have to have another eligibility sec check when you return to the AO after an absence. Virginia turned to the HCOP/L and said "what does further mean in this sentence?" Virginia says several terminals have misinterpreted this HCOP/L to me with the wrong definition of the word further. And I would be happy to show you in the dictionary how it is impossible for the way it's being interpreted to be correct. Marina said ok, ok, but I'm still not changing the line. Virginia said, Marina, this is an LRH HCOB applying to SOLO NOTS pre-OTs. How can you, as RTC, who LRH specifically entrusted with KSW, say you're not going to apply this? Marina says because she also entrusted with the security of the advanced course materials.

Virginia then says, how can you alter the tech in the name of security? What are keeping secure then? Squirrel tech? In KSW LRH says its not the government or High Priests that will destroy us, its our failure to retain and practice our technology. If we alter the tech in the name of security, to prevent the advance course materials from getting in the hands of the SPs, then the SPs have already won. Because it is altering the tech that will destroy us, not the SPs.

Marina then says, well what would you do if you were RTC? Virginia then says, Marina, are you 100% for LRH? She said yes. Virginia says good, then lets do what LRH says in this HCOB. Marina says, well I might be willing to apply it to you. Virginia says thank you, but it does not just apply to me. (Note the attempted bribe there -Virginia)

Marina says I'm not changing the whole line, but I might change it for you. She said let me check into this. Go do your new program and check back with me in a few days. Virginia said ok but I'm not doing any sec checking.

After that, Greg Barnes talks to Marina and Marina told him emphatically that they are not changing the six months check line. Virginia was unaware of this at the time.

Altered importance of destroying the tech in the name of security:

Falsehood that you can't apply HCOB C/S Series 73 and have security too: Incorrectly included disagreement and justifiers regarding applying HCOB C/S Series 73: RTC Exec Marina Pezzotti

Incorrectly included betrayal of LRH's trust to preserve the tech: All RTC Execs

Incorrectly included tech degrade for refusing to apply HCOB C/S Series 73: Omitted application of HCOP/L 7 February 1965 Keeping Scientology Working:

All RTC Execs and Flag tech terminals involved with OT 7"

------What was that again Marina?? Let's look again, especially at this part..

"Virginia said not if you know its out tech and you're protesting it. Marina says it's not a technical point, it's a security point. Virginia then said, does he say anywhere in here that you can sec check for security purposes? Marina says no.

Virginia said what do the materials state, regarding sec checking of SOLO NOTS OTs who are not stalled or moving slowly. Marina agrees the HCOB says that you do not interrupt them."

HMMMMMMMM, exactly who is "issuing alter-ised Scientology technical data or information or instructional or admin procedures......" and calling it Scientology?

Us, or RTC/CST?

That is the end of the section Virginia wrote to clarify her situation. There is much, much more that she and the Barnes had written in correct form with complete references. Perhaps this is the type of detail you made need to form your own conclusions, for or against the COS.

You asked why we left. These are some of the main reasons. Our purpose is not to reg you offlines, but rather to make it known that we are leaving and why.

Virginia had made a post to alt.religion.scientology, which is the newsgroup that most anti-scientology news gets posted to. (This newsgroup contains a good deal of outright natter, but there are some researchers who like you, are looking for the truth. You can join newsguy for $25 per year to access this newsgroup.) In this post she presented some estimates regarding FSO's income. Her estimate was that FSO brings in about 1 million per week on average. (I have no way to verify these numbers, nor do I really want to take the time to do so) Nevertheless, she estimated that there are close to 2000 on lines on OT7. These pre-OT's are all on the 6 month check line. These checks cost an average of $12,000 to $18,000 every six months, or $24-$36k per year/pre-OT. Lets assume these estimates are off and there are only 1500 pre-OTs on lines and it costs 20k per year. Using the $20k estimate X 1500 pre-OT's and you get $30 million dollars! Or, better than half the estimated income of FSO! Let me ask you, if you were RTC would you wants to give up a $30 million per year line? Of course not. My contention is that the COS has another higher master than the tech, and that master is the almighty dollar.

To give you just one of many examples of the lengths the COS will go to get their GI stats, the following account comes from a Flag trained class IX, OT8:

I HAVE EDITED OUT REFERENCES MADE TO CONFIDENTIAL OT MATERIALS

I, Maria Pia Gardenia declare as follows:

1. I am over the age of 18 years.

2. The statements herein are of my own personal knowledge and if called upon as a witness, I can testify competently thereto.

3. My name is Maria Pia Gardini. I am an Italian citizen.

4. I became involved in Scientology through the Narconon program. My daughter went into the program and at this time she gave me some books to read about Scientology. After 8 months or so she finished her program and told me she wanted to continue studying Scientology. My mother and I paid for her auditing up to OT VII.

5. After she was on the OT levels, she convinced me to meet some of the people in the Rome org. They convinced me to do the purification rundown and to try auditing, so I bought one intensive of "book one" auditing.

6. I started the purification rundown: on the second day I blew (left suddenly) the sauna. I was scared to death of being in the heat for four to five hours. I was 49 years old and felt I would die. Members of the org came to my home and convinced me to return and keep doing it. They said I was just going through something and if I continued, I would get out of it. So, I returned and finished the rundown. I quickly told them I was done, and I was done.

7. I then started the auditing. My father was dead and I had always been sad about his death. When I started auditing, my auditor was a very warm and kind woman and we audited almost the whole 12 hours that I had purchased on my father's death. I went through a lot of emotions talking about his death, crying and laughing and at the end I did feel better.

8. I then decided to continue. I wanted to buy another intensive, but I was regged to buy 10 intensives more of book one auditing. Meanwhile, they also sold me an academy package so I could study to myself become an auditor. Soon, I was getting auditing 3-4 hours a day and studying an additional several hours a day.

9. When I attested the completion of book one, I was told I had to continue to handle the many more areas of my life. I then bought all the Scientology Grades auditing plus NED (New Era Dianetics.)

10. I started on the objectives. This was the first failure for me. Doing a drill called "Op Pro by Dup" involving repetitive actions with a book and bottle, I became so upset I threw the bottle at my auditor and tore up the book used in the auditing. The auditor had to physically restrain me to keep me in the room.

11. Before I had just done auditing where I had talked a lot, so of course one will feel better talking about their problems. Now, this was something different.

12. I ended up slapping the auditor and running from the room. I ran home and that evening four staff members came to get me. They explained to me that I had lost control and if I finished the auditing I would regain control. I returned with them and finished the auditing.

13. I then audited the Grades 0-IV. I did not have any great achievements during these. It was just sit there and listen and talk to the auditor. I told the C/S that I didn't have any "wins" on this (I in fact told everyone this), but they reminded me that I had had a lot of wins before on my book one and the grades were just to stabilize me for my OT levels. They told me to just continue.

14. Then, they tried to audit me on NED, but after all the hours of book one I was desperate.I had already talked about everything! I became sick and was interviewed by someone who said I had to do the CCRD. I had paid for 12 ½ hours of NED and audited for 25 minutes. When I tried to get the money back for these unused hours they said no, I paid for the intensive and I had started it. So that was the end of that money (about $2000.)

15. I then went to Rome and while I was there a "mission" arrived from CLO Italy to recruit people into the Sea Organization (SO.) They wanted me to join and worked very hard on me. I agreed and they gave me a contract for 1 billion years.

16. In the mean time I had done the class IV internship. They now wanted me to start in the SO, but I wanted to go attest to clear first. I bought CCRD in Copenhagen AOSH and went to do it. I was told, because I was a Sea Org member the room and board would be free. When I arrived, I was told "Free? CLO Italy doesn't have any money on account here." I had to pay for myself.

17. They put me in a hotel that was owned by the church called "Nordland." It was like a pigsty; so dirty. I found one room that was less dirty than the others and did not have other people in it.

18. At this point I was now a class V auditor. It was terrible in Copenhagen. I was given an auditor who was Swiss German who did not speak Italian, but something similar. I started eligibility with him and the session went on and on and on because I could not understand him. I was supposed to stay there two weeks but was there two months. Then, I was told I had to buy more intensives. I explained the language problem, so they switched auditors. He spoke good Italian, so I finished eligibility in two hours then moved to the CCRD. I then attested to clear.

19. Clear is supposed to be an expanded person. I did not feel this. I really wanted badly to go back to Italy. When I did go back, I simply changed suitcases and went to Milano to train for the Sea Org.

20. Now, I was put in the kitchen to cook for 70 staff members. This was terrible. Then, they wanted me to wash dishes. I said no. I never have washed dishes in my life. I had my car there so I left again. I went back home for 2 days before they came and got me. This whole time my daughter was progressing in Scientology. She was at Flag and I was afraid that they would tell her I was misbehaving and she would be upset with me. So, I went back. When I went back, they told me I was done with the first phase of my training.

21. I then told them I had to go back to Rome to close up the house. In Rome, there was another mission to get people to do the OT levels in Copenhagen. I bought a package for OT I-III. I wrote for permission to do these levels instead of going to work. I received this permission and went to Copenhagen to do my OT levels.

22. While I was doing my levels in Copenhagen, I was paying my own room and board and then they asked me to start auditing their pcs.

I HAVE EDITED OUT REFERENCES MADE TO CONFIDENTIAL OT MATERIALS HERE

44. While I had been auditing, there was a raid in Italy and all of the organizations were closed. When I returned to Italy after OT V, the entire org of Roma had moved into my apartment (they had called me in Copenhagen and asked to move into my apartment.) I had instructed my building superintendent to let them in but to not give them a key. They somehow got a key and made a copy anyway. They were there all the time.the whole building was protesting.

45. So, when I returned, I made them leave. I found them another apartment and paid for the first two months of rent. It took five days for a cleaning company to clean my apartment, it was such a mess.

46. Now, I went to CLO in Milano to work. They were working in a hotel because they had lost their building to the government. I wondered what the hell I was doing there. I had no job to do. We had Int (International Management) missions in to handle the problems while I was paying the hotel for everyone in CLO. I figured I would go on to do OT VI and OT VII. One of my seniors thought this would be good for me to do. At this moment, I was running out of money. So, to do these levels I sold my apartment in Rome. My mother was very, very angry with this. She told me I was crazy and they will ruin me. She was right.

47. Now, I come to Flag. Again, I was supposed to get room and board because I was a staff member. Bah. No room and board! I have again to pay for myself.

I HAVE EDITED OUT REFERENCES MADE TO CONFIDENTIAL OT MATERIALS HERE

52. I never went to my home to audit; I stayed at the Sand Castle and audited for 8 months. When I wasn't auditing I studied to be a class IX auditor and was auditing public pcs.

53. When I attested to OT VII, Captain Ron Norton called me. I was validated as being a class IX auditor and OT VII completion. What the hell was I going to do with it? They asked me to sign on to work at Flag and they would send another auditor to Italy to replace me. I told them to call my senior.

54. In Italy they were still trying to open up the orgs. My senior did agree, though I said I had to go back to Italy to finish up and prepare. I did this.

55. When I arrived to start working at Flag, I was told that they would put me in the Sand Castle hotel because there is no room at the Hacienda. The Sand Castle was dirty and had unbelievable cockroaches.

56. They told me I had to pay 10% of what a public would pay, since it was a public room. When they took me to the room there was no furniture, no bed nothing. I complained but was told it was too late at night to do anything. I was told to sleep in a chair. I said no, I just arrive after 10 hours of travel. It was February 8 and cold. I ended up sleeping on the carpet.

57. The next day I refused to go to work unless I received a bed. They then showed me a bed that had been outside in the garden; they were going to throw it away. It was so dirty I would not put my dog on that mattress. It had holes where rats had eaten it. I absolutely refused. I told them I would start work on Monday. I went to the store and bought myself a bed, blankets, chair and sheets. I had it all brought to the Sand Castle.

58. After one month, I was told they had a place in the Hacienda Gardens for me. So, I put my stuff together and they took me to the Hacienda. When they opened the door, I plugged my nose it stunk so badly. There were eight beds one atop of the other. At this point I said take me to the captain.

59. I went to the Captain and told him I will not live like this. I want to go back to Italy. He said no, we have a small apartment in the Hacienda that we rent. We will give it to you for half price. I agreed to this and paid $400 per month (this turned out to be full price.)

60. Now, I moved into this apartment. At the end of the first month, five other people were sleeping in this apartment. They were putting staff members in my paid for apartment. These people would eat my food and drink my water. I returned to the captain.

61. I said enough is enough. You broke all your promises and I want to go home. The captain told me to return to the Hacienda, wait three days and he will come visit me and we will take care of this.

62. In the mean time, I called an area realtor and arranged to purchase a condominium. By the time I met with the captain, I had my new home. At first, he told me no, I couldn't stay off the base. I said it was this or nothing. He told me to write a CSW, which I did, and he approved it. Thus, I had special permission to live outside of sea org quarters.

63. So, I started to audit again. Then, there was a change of captains. Ron Norton went to Gold and Debbie Cook became the captain. This was in 1988. When Debbie Cook became captain, my real problems started.

64. First, she wanted me to move back to the Hacienda, or she insisted that I share my condo with other staff members. I told her no to both. At this time, I was almost every week the auditor with the most hours in the chair and that year I won the worldwide highest auditing hours cup at the Auditors Day celebration. At this point, I was a money making machine for them.

65. I was always on the chair auditing. In September of 1990 I received a phone call from Italy saying my daughter was in the hospital in Pavia in Italy and I had to go to her at once. I CSW'd to go see her and it was approved.

66. I returned to Italy and two months later, my daughter died: November 18, 1990. She was 29 years old and an OT VII.

67. A bit before I left, however, I asked the senior C/S, Kathy Webb, to give me a program to audit my daughter because she was OT VII. This was to help her physically. The answer was, with AIDS, she will die. What program do you want? Give her a program to drop the body. Of course, I never did such a process on her. You don't go to a sick person and say, "I give you a program to drop your body."

68. Also in 1989 or 1990 they started releasing OT VIII. I was told to buy a package on the Freewinds because this is the only place OT VIII was delivered due to its extreme confidentiality. I bought a package, but then I went to Italy because of my daughter.

69. Two days after my daughter's death, I took her to the cemetery to bury her in our family mausoleum. On this day, I was recalled to Flag. My daughter was not yet buried. Flag phoned me and spoke to my mother, who told them to fuck off and leave me alone and forget my phone number. She was heavily against Scientology.

70. When I spoke with them I told them my daughter had left a daughter of 11 years old, Camilla, and I could not leave imMediately. The called me every day, several times a day to get me to come back imMediately. They called with no regard to the 6-hour time difference between the USA and Italy. They would call at 4:00 a.m. and wake up the whole house of grieving people to demand my return.

71. On the 29th of November, 11 days after my daughter's death, I returned to Flag. I left my granddaughter with her stepfather and my mother. When I returned to Flag I was very angry and the staff at Flag were astonished at this. They could not understand why I would be mad. I then went right back to work, but I was not able to produce as well as I had before. Because of this, they decided to send me to the ship to do my OT VIII.

72. The ship was in the Bahamas. I had to buy my own ticket to get there. When I arrived, I also had to pay for my own room and board. I didn't want to sleep in the staff berthing below decks, as it was extremely hot down there, like 100 degrees. I could not do this. As soon as I arrived, instead of starting my own program I was put to work auditing others on their sec check for OT VII and OT VIII eligibility. I was very valuable to them as I could audit in three languages: English, Italian, and French.

73. Soon after I arrived, Milt Wolf, one of the ship captains, and David Light, a registrar, sat with me and regged me to buy books and materials. They also sold me a gold OT bracelet that cost thousands of dollars. They sat with me and would not let me go until I had bought and bought. I ended up buying an extra suitcase to carry all the materials I had bought. Eventually, I arrived in the course room to start OT VIII.

I HAVE EDITED OUT REFERENCES MADE TO CONFIDENTIAL OT MATERIALS HERE

78. The night I attested to OT VIII, I went ashore with some friends to see the casino in Nassau. Guess who was gambling there? David Miscavige, Guillame Leserve and Ray Mithoff. Isn't gambling an overt in Scientology? When I saw this, I was ready to leave Scientology. (EDITED FOR OT MATERIAL) I wanted to leave, but this was very difficult.

79. When I was finished (ot8), (this was December 1990) I returned to Flag. Now, I was trying to figure out how to leave Scientology. The occasion came in October 1991 when I received a call that my mother was in hospital and very, very sick. Now, I could return to Italy.

80. I CSW'd to leave. My CSW was NOT approved. I went to the Captain to talk to her and she told me no, it was not important that my mother was dying. It was only a body. I must stay at Flag and produce for Scientology.

81. I again CSW'd to leave. Instead of giving it to the Captain, I gave it to my DofP (Director of Processing) for OT eligibility. Then, I went to my condo, packed my suitcase, went to the airport, bought a ticket and went to Italy.

82. I thought I would be declared a blow, but after four days in Italy I received, by fax, the CSW I had written. It was approved. My mother died December 11, 1991.

83. On the 21st of December, Flag started regging me for the money I was inheriting from my mother's death. Please see my other affidavit for the completion of this story.

I declare under penalty of perjury under the laws of the United States of America and the state of Florida that the foregoing is true and correct.

Executed in Grosetto, Italy this 14th day of February 2001

Maria Pia Gardini


Declaration of Maria Pia Gardini

I, Maria Pia Gardini declare as follows:

1. I am over the age of 18 years.

2. The statements herein are of my own personal knowledge and if called upon as a witness, I can testify competently thereto.

3. My name is Maria Pia Gardini. I am an Italian citizen. The Flag Service Organization defrauded me of $1,000,000 while I was working on their staff as a highly trained Class IX auditor.

4. On the 21st of December, 1991, Tito Mazza, who was the Flag Service I/C [in charge] in Italy, and Marco Puggelli, who was a Flag FSM [field staff member], came to my home in Italy seeking a donation for a Class VIII project at Flag. Shortly after they arrived, Debbie Cook, the Commanding Officer for the Flag Service Organization in Clearwater, Florida, called on the telephone concerning this same project. She told me the cost of executing the program was 2 million dollars U.S. and she wanted me to finance the entire project. I told her I would never give them 2 million dollars whereupon she said she knew I would inherit a large sum of money from my mother's death just 10 days before and felt I should give them the money. I continued to say no and asked them to leave. They would not but stayed and continued badgering me. Finally, one of them took me into a side room and told me if I just gave them a check to prove to the Captain of Flag that I was a good scientologist they would leave. They repeatedly told me I should be a good scientologist and give them the money. I was also at this time very vulnerable. My daughter had died one year before and my mother had now died 10 days before. I was alone in the world. I finally gave them a check for $30,000 and they left. At that point I told them not to return asking me for money.

5. The morning after, my maid came into my bedroom and told me there were two people sleeping in a car in my garden. I got dressed and went to see who it was. There I found two sea org members whom I recognized as working for Flag and the Flag Ship Service Org. When I approached the car to tell them they could not come into my garden in the middle of the night, they got out of the car and asked me for coffee. I took them into the house and gave them coffee. They then fell asleep in my home. Around ten o'clock, I received a phone call from Debbie Cook, who told me I had not given enough money and I needed to give more to the two staff members at my home. She went on and on about the project needing my help, that Italy was really down and it could be the first Clear country etc. Finally, I gave another $50,000.

6. In Spring of 1992, I returned to Flag. The day after I arrived, I went back to work as an auditor in the Sand Castle hotel. That afternoon, at 2:00 p.m., I was called by Captain Debbie Cook to go to the registrar area in the Fort Harrison hotel. I am sure this day was Wednesday. When I arrived Captain Cook was sitting in a small, back room accompanied by Piers Almquist and a CMO messenger. I was directed to go into the room and the door was closed behind me.

7. After the door was closed, Debbie Cook said to me "We want to know how we can help you in your inheritance cycle." This was to speed up my receiving the inheritance. I told her I had my family lawyer and other professionals taking care of things and that I needed Italian professionals taking care of it, not Americans. She said they knew I had a beautiful villa and other nice things and that I really needed to help with the Italian Class VIIII project. I told her I could not give any more money; my money was in Italy and my banker would need my signature. She told me they would arrange for scientologists in America and Italy to loan me money, then I could return to Italy later and get the money to pay them back. She also wanted me to call my banker right then and find out how much money I could take out of Italy at that moment.

8. At this point, I didn't know what to do. I told her it was too late in Italy for me to call the bank and I would call in the morning and talk to my banker to see how much money I had in my accounts. Upon this promise of mine to call my banker in Italy, they let me leave the room. I then returned to work.

9. The next morning at 8:00 a.m. I was preparing for work when I was told not to start working but to return to the Fort Harrison. I did this, and when I arrived at the Fort Harrison I was directed to the same little room. Inside waiting for me were the following people:

Debbie Cook -- Captain FSO

Piers Almquist - a registrar

David Foster - a registrar

Pilar Saldiariagga - Commodores Messenger

John Lundeen -- Supervisor of the registrars

Chiara Staples - my FSM

10. Chiara had been called in and asked to lend me money. She had $50,000 in cash in a bag and told me she would loan me the money if I promised to pay her back as soon as I returned to Italy and received my inheritance. Under pressure, I agreed to do this. Almost imMediately, Dave Foster told me that this amount was not enough.

11. Debbie Cook then had an idea. She suggested that "Teresa", the wife of Gerald Bloom, who was a Class V C/S, could also lend me money. Teresa was called in and asked to loan me money. She also said she did not have money in the USA. Teresa was asked to call her mother in Switzerland to arrange to loan me $100,000. The money was eventually transferred from Switzerland to the Flag Accounts. I was praised and told to go back to work, which I did.

12. On the following Thursday morning, I was again called by Captain Cook and told to go to her office in the Coachman building. When I arrived she and John Lundeen and another staff member who was an MAA and was also Italian were waiting for me. It was before 9:00 a.m. and they wanted more money. They pushed and pushed me saying I must help Italy get the LRH materials. They asked me to call my bank in Italy and talk to the director to see how much money was available to me. I could not lie to him because they put the phone call on speakerphone and of course the other Italian staff member could understand what was being said. The bank director told me that I had just received money into my account from selling a large piece of real estate. I tried to tell the director that I needed that money for inheritance tax, but he told me I had more than enough to cover it. So they now knew I had money in my account. The Captain told me to ask how much I could have sent to the United States without my signature. He said if I faxed him my signature and a copy of my ID, I could have all the money I wanted. I wanted to kill this bank director, but of course he didn't know what was going on.

13. At this point, I ended up transferring $300,000 to the Flag Land Base. I was very upset by this transaction and by the fact that I was then highly commended at the staff meeting for having donated so much. The whole staff clapped for me, however I felt terrible and promised myself that this was it. I would give no more money. I was also given other benefits due to this contribution. For example I had been asking for a lighter schedule for months due to a heart condition. Regular Flag staff hours are from 9:00 a.m. to 10:30 p.m. It was not until after I had made this contribution that a lighter schedule was finally approved for me.

14. I then asked to return to Italy in order to see my attorneys and finalize my inheritance and to visit my granddaughter. I requested a leave of absence. I was told that it was okay to leave, but before I left they wanted me to make my total donation one million dollars and asked for the balance to add to the previous donations. This was all for the Italian Class VIII translation of materials and to pay for people to come from Italy to Flag to train. Throughout the day I spoke with my seniors in the organization and begged to go back to Italy. I tried very hard to avoid the issue of money. This was in September.

15. One Thursday morning at 6:00 a.m., High Levy showed up at my home. He told me that I had to come right away to the Fort Harrison because they needed me. I arrived at the Fort Harrison and was taken downstairs. In a room awaiting me were Captain Cook and Dave Foster.

16. They told me that Tito Mazza (who was one of the first two men who came to my home in Italy) was on the phone from Italy. Tito told me that the Italian statistics were down and they really needed my money. He told me he had found someone who could lend me $200,000. He said he would go to the person in Italy and the two of them would call me back in America and we would do a conference call. He did this, going to the house of Franco Baggio, who happened to be one of my pcs. Mr. Baggio told me he could loan the $200,000, however, he needed to get it from the bank. He also told me he needed the loan paid off in one month. I did not agree to do this and the Captain and Dave Foster badgered and harassed me until I finally just hung up the phone.

17. At this point, somebody called the Captain out of the room, leaving just Dave Foster and me in the room. Mr. Foster started yelling at me, becoming as red as a lobster and getting so upset I thought he was going to have a heart attack. He wanted me to give the money. He told me I was not a good Scientologist; that my money was Wog money and needed to go to scientology; and that I was unethical. I kept refusing to give any more money. Finally, Dave Foster slapped me in the face. I began to cry.

18. The Captain FSO then returned to the room. I told her Dave Foster had slapped me. Dave Foster denied it. Captain FSO then imMediately began asking me again for more money. They kept badgering me, insinuating that if I wanted to go home to Italy, I had better give the money. Soon, I was an emotional mess. I wanted out of that room and to go home to Italy. It was apparent to me that neither would happen if I did not agree: so, I finally agreed to give them whatever money they wanted. At that point they again called Franco Baggio and I told him to give the money. Franco then wrote a check and gave it to Tito Mazza, who took the check to Luxembourg and put it into a Flag account there. Only after this did they let me out of the room. I then returned to work.

19. I now wanted to leave for Italy, but OSA was holding my passport and though I had asked for its return every night for twenty days, they would not give it to me. I finally went to the Captain FSO at the end of October. I begged to be able to return to Italy so I could get the money to pay everybody back. Also during this time I was sick with worry because they had told me they wanted one million dollars and they hadn't yet gotten that out of me. So every Thursday I was terrified that I would again be called in and forced to give more money.

20. The Captain finally ok'd the return of my passport. Soon after getting it, I was again called into a meeting in the Captain's Office in the Coachman building. The Captain told me to write a CSW to go to Italy and get it signed by all of my seniors and bring it back to Snr. Staff HCO and then to her.

This was the end of October. At this time she asked me if I had any more money in the bank. I admitted that I did (lying to the Captain is an overt). She told me the stats were down and I needed to again contribute money. I was so anxious to get my CSW signed so I could leave, I again wrote a check for Flag. This was for $25,000 written on my account at 1st National Bank (Amsouth) in Clearwater.

21. After this, I tried and tried to get everyone to approve my CSW to go home to Italy. Towards the end of November, I received all necessary approvals. I finally left for Italy in early December.

22. When I arrived in Italy, my attorney told me that before the 12th of December I had to pay the inheritance taxes. I paid the taxes and then found that nothing was left in the bank. I decided I had to sell some property, as I was now virtually penniless.

23. I then called Mr. Baggio and told him that I was not able to repay his loan imMediately. He was furious. I explained that I had given all of my money to Flag. He didn't care.

24. In January of 1993, I called Flag and told them that I couldn't return as I was broke and was trying to sell property. I spoke with Debbie Cook. Her suggestion was that I put the property in the name of Scientology America, and they would sell the property and pay back all of the loans I had taken to pay FSO. I told her this was not possible as the property was not fully in my name, but also in the name of my granddaughter, who was a minor, and another relative. Because my granddaughter was a minor, the court would represent her in any sale and put the money aside for her use.

25. Debbie then directed me to stay in Italy to sell the property, and while I was there to continue working for Flag as a "missionaire." She said I should audit people from my home. She would send the clients to me. She said there were a lot of Italian people in disagreement with Scientology who would not go into an org but would come to my home or I could go to theirs. So the people would pay Flag and I would audit them in Italy. Of course, I got paidnothing to do this work.

26. I now began to sell my art and antiques just to survive until I finally sold the property. I was then able to repay all the money borrowed on mybehalf. Franco Baggio charged me 22% interest on the money. This had never been discussed or agreed to between us.

27. As soon as I paid Mr. Baggio, I received a call from Captain FSO. She said she knew I had sold my property. She called me directly because I had previously screamed into the phone at another staff member, saying I was sick of getting calls from Flag and to leave me alone. Debbie Cook asked me at this time to pay the balance of the $1 million she wanted. I refused. She then told me I had to return to Flag. I said I could not. I reminded her I was doing all sorts of auditing in Italy. She insisted I return to Flag. I still refused.

28. About two weeks later I was in Milano to audit some OT VII's. At this time I was mentally a mess. My mother had died, my daughter had died, my cousin had committed suicide, I had given all of my money to Flag and my families business had lost all of its assets. While I was in Milano, Tito Mazza and John Lundeen bothered me about making further donations. I finally broke down and wrote a check for the balance to make up $1 million. At this point, I had paid a total of one million dollars to Flag and $40,000 to Franco Baggio for interest.

29. Debbie Cook then called again to tell me I had not yet made one million dollars. Per their account it was only $960,000. I told her by my count it was one million forty thousand. That was it. I refused to give any more.

30. At this time, my family began expressing concern for my mental state, saying they believed I was crazy for throwing away all of my money to Scientology. One relative was trying to convince my attorneys that I was completely insane. This created a great deal of difficulty for me. At this time I decided to never return to work at Flag. My life was a living hell.

31. I called Debbie Cook and told her I was not coming back to work. Three days later, John Lundeen arrived at my home with Chiara. These two insisted I pay the remainder of money to make my donation for one million. This was insane. I could stand it no more. I told them to take any money they wanted, I didn't care. My nerves were gone at this point. I was totally broken. I gave them another $50,000.

32. As far as leaving staff, I wanted to do it properly per the policies of the FSO. So I returned in January or February of 1994 to route out. I expected this to take about one week. It took two months. This organization did a Board of Investigation on me because I wanted to leave staff. The result of this action was that I was not qualified for the Sea Org. Therefore, they now kicked me out. After all of the money I had given them and all of the auditing I had done and my high training, I was found not qualified.

33. Also, while I was doing this routing out, I noticed that there was not one Italian in the Class VIII classroom studying. This is what I had paid the one million for. I had been told that my donations were for Italians, yet in the course room were all kinds of people but Italians. I went to Debbie Cook and told her she had lied to me. I said right then that I wanted all of my money back. Debbie responded that they were at that point in time translating the material into Italian so my money could be used to "free Italians." Two years later, materials were still not translated into Italian.

34. When I finally returned to Italy, I found my situation was terrible. My attorney told me to sell the family villa. All the money was gone and I could no longer afford it. I sold the villa and gave some of this money to my granddaughter and about half a million to my son-in-law.

35. At the end of 1994, I returned to Clearwater to sell a condo I owned in Island Estates. At that time I went to the Fort Harrison to visit Chiara. When I walked in, a registrar for the Super Power project, Charmaigne, and another registrar for special properties grabbed me and sat me down. They asked me for money. I said no.but they would not let me leave. I was at this point completely unable to deal with these demands for money, even though I knew it was harming me. I gave $20,000 to Charmaigne for super power project. I then went to Chiara's house and hid out.

36. After I sold my condo, I went to Amsouth bank to get some money. When I came out of the bank two officers from Scientology Special Properties in Los Angeles were waiting for me. They wanted money to help put LRH materials into titanium so it could be preserved for eternity. They asked me to come to the top floor of the Fort Harrison to see the new special properties. I just wanted to go to Italy, now. I had my ticket in my pocket. I still had to empty my condo and get out. I asked them to leave me be. I told them to leave me alone or I would die here in America. But they said, "Let's go" and escorted me to the Fort Harrison where they badgered me for the money. Again, I lost my will and just wrote them a check. I gave them $25,000 from the condo sale.

37. After this, I went to the bank, emptied the account and I left for home. While I was at the airport in Miami awaiting my connecting flight to Milan, I sat in the VIP waiting room having a coffee. I received a call. I was told there was someone crying on the phone. ImMediately I worried that it was my granddaughter and something was wrong at home.

38. The person crying on the phone was Chiara at Flag. She told me that Charmaigne had her locked in a room and was badgering her, telling her she had to give them $100,000 in my name for the superpower project. They wouldn't believe Chiara when she told them I was already gone. They told her to prove it, and thus Chiara was calling me. I then had to verify for Charmaigne over the phone that I was indeed in Miami.

39. Charmaigne at once told me to return to Flag. I told her no. Finally, I was yelling into the phone. I told her I could give her not one penny more and that if Chiara gave her the $100,000 I would not pay it back, but Charmaigne would have to repay it herself.

40. I returned to Italy. My life was very difficult now. I had little money and again had to sell property to pay my daily expenses.

41. In early 1995, I called Debbie Cook. I told her that now I needed help from her. I was an OT VIII class IX auditor who had given over one million dollars to Scientology. I never spoke to Debbie. Never once would she come on the phone to speak to me.

42. Now, I started to write to her. I also started writing CLO and phoning OSA in Italy and asking for my money back. I wrote and called many times saying I wanted all one million. I was ignored. I then decided to go to court.

43. My family attorney wrote to the CLO Italy. The response was for Flag to send Ellen Almquist to me in Italy to audit me. I refused to be audited. For three days she stayed at my home and tried to get me into session. I would not go. She finally went away. Shortly thereafter, they sent another auditor, one whom I was very fond of and with whom I had previously worked. I still refused. In fact, when he prepared a room to audit me, I took a bottle of whisky in with me and said, "Ok. I am ready to audit." He soon left.

44. In 1994 Debbie Cook bought a new, $40,000 car. She told me it was her FSM commission as she was the FSM on my cycle. This is against the policies of Scientology as far as I know. In fact, everyone who worked on this gathering of the $1 million took commissions from this.

45. During this time, I started drinking too much, just to forget all that I had been through. Now, the CLO wrote to my attorney and said I had to get my money back from Flag, not them. My attorney then told me I could sue them from Italy. When Flag found out that I was suing, they started looking into my financial situation. At this point, I wanted ALL money I had given to Flag. So, I called their attorney in Rome. They proposed a meeting with my attorney to come to some form of agreement.

46. Their attorney set the time of the meeting one day before a sale at my home to raise money. They had gone to a public registry and obtained information on my financial situation.

47. At this meeting in Rome in their attorney's office was myself, a person from CLO Italy, my attorney, the daughter of their attorney, a woman from OSA Flag and a staff member from Roma Org. For the whole afternoon we discussed the situation. In the end, the woman from OSA told me they knew I was in a terrible financial bind and she offered me a check for 250 million lira ($180,000). She said either I agree or I will get nothing. She spoke in English and my attorney could not understand this. I was really at the point of losing the last of what I had. I asked the woman if I took the money, would I still be in good standing with the church. She said yes. I didn't want to go back, but I also didn't want them all against me. I felt they were dangerous people. I also told her I still had $29,000 in my account at Flag and I wanted that returned. She said I would still be able to get that returned per the church policy.

48. I then accepted the check. We agreed that I would then receive two more checks in the same amount. I signed an agreement, which was in English. I asked for a copy. They said it had to go to Flag and they would send my copy with the second payment. They never sent it and I have still never received a copy.

49. When the third payment arrived, it was for 240 million, not 250. I asked where are the other ten million liras. Their attorney said it had been given to my attorney.

50. Now, after I had received this money for repayment of half of what I had given for the Class VIII Italian project, I decided to get the money left on account at Flag. I called FSO and asked to come back. I was told that I could not return to Flag. I was not in good standing with the church. I soon also received a letter from the Ship saying I was a "refund." I have never yet received a refund from the Ship Org.

51. I have been cheated by this organization. I want my money on accounts refunded; I want my money donated to the Super Power project returned to me. I want the other $500,000 returned to me. I have written them and they are not willing to help me. They in fact have told me that am trying to extort money from them. My attorney in Italy did say that the agreement had no legal standing in Italy.

I declare under penalty of perjury under the laws of the United States of America and the state of Florida that the foregoing is true and correct.

Executed in Clearwater, Florida this 19th day of January 2001.

Maria Pia Gardini


3. On January 1, 1992 at twelve thirty in the afternoon I was sitting at table for lunch with some friends i.e. Franco Baggio, his wife Marilena and his son Alessandro, Masimo Cavadenti (now deceased) and Letizia Pizza, when a taxi entered my garden. Four people emerged. My butler came to table to inform me of the visitors, as they were quite unexpected. In Italy, you don't just drop in on people on the first day of the year. It is to be spent with family and close friends.

4. I went to the window to see who it was. It was Charmaign (last name unknown), who was the Super Power registrar In Charge in Flag Service Org in Clearwater, Fl; her husband; a staff member from CLO Italy named Simonetta; and a public from Los Angeles, a blond haired woman whom I never seen since.

5. Charmaign stood in my garden yelling for me to come down and pay for the taxi, as they didn't have a penny. Mr. Baggio went instead of me. They then came upstairs to the dining room and I asked why there were there. Were they lost or what? Charmaign said no, she had come expressly to me to talk to me about Super Power.

6. All four people then sat at the table and began to eat our meals. I was shocked by their horrible manners and even smacked Charmaign's hand when she tried to take food from my plate. This woman was in full Sea Org uniform with stripes and everything. My butler was looking quite shocked.

7. This was my first year alone since my daughter and mother had died and my friends and I were shocked that they had come on this day to reg me for money. Charmaign told me they were in Italy and came to "get their stats up." So, they start telling me all about Super Power project until Franco Baggio asked them to stop so they could at least eat and they would discuss it afterward.

8. At this point, Charmaign began drinking wine, lots of wine until she became totally drunk. We had to put her in bed in the guest room with her husband. The rest of us went into another room to talk socially.

9. At 6:00 p.m. Charmaign woke up. She was yelling and screaming, "Why did you let me sleep!" We told her she was so drunk she couldn't stand up from the chair. She then started right in telling me she wanted $35,000 from me for a Cornerstone donation to the project. She told me she would not leave the house until I paid. This went on until 8:00 p.m. as I tried to resist her in every way, even locking myself in the bathroom for half an hour with her banging on the outside saying she would never leave.

10. My butler then came in and told us that dinner was ready. I did not want Charmaign and company to stay for dinner as I had other family arriving. Franco finally told me to give her something so she would get out, so I offered her a check for $10,000 to leave. I told the butler to take one of my cars and take them to the train station and put her on any train he could find.

11. I was still a staff member of Flag at this time and Charmaign was a senior officer to me. This is one thing that made it very difficult for me to kick her out of my home. I would have been in very strong ethics problems if I had over stepped my limit in how I treated an officer.

I declare under penalty of perjury under the laws of the United States ofAmerica and the state of Florida that the foregoing is true and correct.

Executed in Clearwater, Florida this 19th day of January 2001.

Maria Pia Gardini


I would have to ask you, how do you handle this for yourself? Do you say, "She was just PTS to her mother."? Or, "She had overts on LRH so, she pulled it in."?

7) Despite all the tech on management, the church has a very bad public image. Those of you on the inside do not necessarily see this, but once you are out it is very clear. I understand that PR operations like the Literacy groups and others help to soften the COS image but once the direct connection to COS is realized, the public stays away. This is a personal observation. Just SAY its scientology. If the stuff is so good, just like with Compaq or Dell or Apple Pie, people will like it and will find it and will promote it! This doesn't work with scientology. You need tons of PR, lots of ACCEPTABLE TRUTHS. Kind of like Amway. You can't SAY its Amway or people run. I find this just another confirmation that the COS has self-sabotaged.

8) When I discovered an entire sub-culture of underground auditors to access, I was free. No longer did I have to accept the tyrannical COS. I could talk. I could say what I felt and no worry over the consequences. If the tech really works, that's all that matters. Whether the COS or someone else gets my money, makes no difference. The TECH is supposed to set you free. Did you know that there are no longer any LRH personally trained Class XII auditors in the COS? Guess where they are? They are in the field, auditing. Many of them left the church in the early 80's when they saw what was happening to the COS. There are many, many out there. CL 6, 8 and 12, who believe in standard tech. I know some of them. Many others audit in hiding. They do not want the harassment from the church so it takes a cloak of secrecy and trust to be able to hook up with them. I will not disclose the identity of any of these people to anyone still connected to hold up my end of the trust. All I can say is that the tech is there, right now, if you want it. You can do your L' s for $4500 each, although from Ed's experience, I wouldn't advise it. You can do your entire bridge, unaltered, for about 20-25K! They have OT levels up to OT15 and beyond(?). Super power right now. Auditor training using standard, LRH written checksheets. Unaltered materials. Training to CL 12. I was gone when I found this out.

9) The alterations in the books are there. I know you have the old thin books. Just compare them in text. You say that these alterations are part of the LRH advises. Sounds like a hidden data line. Where are the hand-written LRH advises or the recordings or whatever. I know it is hard to swallow a lot of this because if what I am saying is even partially true, it threatens many of your core beliefs, your stable datums.

Dear XXXXX- All I can tell you is that we are free now. Free to think and say what we see and feel. Ask yourself, are you freer now? I can assure you that we are. And if we want it, our Bridge is there for us, whenever we want it. I know how the scientologist mind thinks so I can imagine that you might be thinking we are in Lower Conditions and cannot see, that we are PTS to the SPs, that we are trying to be right, etc. I assure you that we have looked at this very objectively and once we "wiped the dogma off our shoes" we were both able to see quite clearly that we wanted no part of the COS.

Your friendship is very real to me by virtue of the fact that you are willing to communicate to me. I have sent out our video to the entire field that we knew in the Atlanta area as well as all over the East US. You are the only one from the Atlanta area that has even taken the time to contact us. We have been, strangely enough, contacted by many people from all over the world who have seen our video on the web. Many of them were like we were. Broke, but still connected. Our video and other communication with them has helped them. Many of them did not realize that others were having similar experiences. Our mission is not to destroy the COS. We just want to set things right and get on with our lives.

I will soon be a declared SP, I am quite certain of this. Ed and I have received a $10,500 refund from the IAS and we are going after a $70,000 Flag refund at this time.

I have just returned from Clearwater after doing an interview on a 60 minutes-type program that airs in Spain sometime in May. I am receiving requests for other US radio and TV Media at this time. I think that these Media types find our story fascinating. We just tell our story, the entire truth.

Because of this I know you may never be allowed to speak with us again. This would be a tragedy, but we understand that you have your eternity at stake and we would never want to threaten that for you or XXXX. In the event that this is our last communication, allow me to say that it was a joy to know you and your family. Your relationship has meant a great deal to both of us.

Your Friend, Always,

Tera Hattaway


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