1 I BLEW OFF MY RESPONSIBILITY AND COMMITMENT TO WIN

[Scribbled out text: I wasted time when I was supposed to be raising money for WW][WW= Winter Wonderland]

2. On October 9th in the MAAs office at the Sand Castle. I started talking to my friend, the MAA snapped at him to get busy on his word clearing and she said he didn't have anyone who could help him. The MAA turned to me and asked if .I could work with him for a few. minutes, I said yes and ended up in an hour long M9 cycle. I did not talk to him about the project at all. I had spent the previous 30 minutes just sitting in the MAAs office not talking to anyone but with my head buried in the SCN HB reading up on my 2D eth pgm I had put myself on 2 weeks earlier. I had claimed to be only able to work on WW on Monday as that was the time I had allotted yet here I sat working on my 2D pgm instead. The only night I had to raise money for that week was burnt doing other cycles which had zero results for the project I was working on. Production was lost, I could have probably raised $1000 that night had I been spending my time wisely but I didn't and it wasn't. This created risk to the project and it's target completion being met, this created stress and worry for the ED with no money being produced. This contributed to a complete bypass by the ED to get the money raised herself with her juniors who should have been spending time working on entertainment and other vital activities to the site. This caused unnecessary dev-t for the ED.

11-6-95

OWs LISA McPherson

1. I blew off my responsibility to my commitment on WW and worked on a 2D ethics pgm instead.

2. Mid September 95 at my apartment. Just after I attested to Clear and was at home with Jeff Litton after graduation. I was looking at what had transpired between he and I over the past year and what the current scene was and became involved in creating on that instead of what I had committed to, Winter Wonderland donations. That following week I was on course and concerning myself with course and Jeff, I discovered that he and I were not in fact compatible at all. I spotted a long term unhandled out-ethics situation with myself on the 2D. I immediately jumped into handling it. with no concern or attention on the WW project I had committed to. I went racing off to the MAA with my own ethics program in hand at what-all I had intended to do to handle it. I got with my friend and made her aware of the situation so I would have a terminal. I went off to the races on a time consuming program to handle that situation instead of the one pressing the hardest on mine and Bennetta's lines. I spent a full weekend working out the handling for that instead of WW. I spent time in the MAA s office doing nothing on WW although that is what my greatest priority was. My create time was tied up on this instead of WW. I lost another 2 weeks of vital fundraising time dicking around on course and this 2D scene. This put undue stress on the people who were working on the project, TC, Bennetta, Marlene. This created lost production time and forced pressure on other things that should have been being created -instead of money (i.e. entertainment, site stuff etc). This contributed to putting the entire project in a Hill 10 which is what we were trying to avoid by getting started so early. This put-the project at risk by not being on schedule things may get missed that are vital to its production. I caused at least $5000 of donos by not working on this cycle during this week. This contributed to heavy intervention by Bennetta to try and avert a disaster.

1. I abandoned my responsibility to WW and dumped my hat on Bennetta.

2. As soon as I attested to Clear in September at Flag. I immediately got scheduled to go on course on a schedule of 2 days then 3 days per week. I went to course and studied for my own personal enhancement and worked very hard to put that schedule in. I did not do anything in the direction of getting Winter Wonderland done. I went on course on the weekdays and weekend and did not create on WW at all. I not-is'd it during this time. I ignored my responsibility and left it up to Bennetta to handle. I looked at it a couple of times and what was happening and I'd see where not enough was happening but then I just created the idea that Bennetta would handle it all and that when she needed me, to really get busy she would let me know and used that to justify not doing my part. Once I was in my room getting dressed to go to the OT Committee and I looked at what I had not done on the project and my next almost immediate thought was yes, but Bennetta is working on it so I don't have to do as much, another justification. I was trying to hide from the project by going on course and looking busy. Now it's time to go full steam ahead on all the other activities and there is not enough money to do what needs to be done. Bennetta has spent time wearing my hat and doing my job when she really needed to be working on the other things that needed to be done. The project is now at risk because of my neglect.

WHAT WAS THE OVERT? I BLEW OFF MY RESPONSIBILITY TO M[Y] PROJECT AND DID NOT DO WHAT I'D COMMITTED TO [Scribbled out text: I saw people in the course room studying and I did not say anything to them or even attempt to put a comm line in withe them to help with WW.]

2. During my course time in September 95. Once it was on a Thursday pm and I was in the course room at the SC listening to roll call. I looked around the room at who was there and thought I had better talk to some of them about WW and fundraising. I dismissed the thought and went back to being a student. I shrunk on WW. I knew I was blowing and did nothing to get my ethics in on it. I got more out of ARC with the project and felt more individuated from it. I did less than was required to get the job done. I failed my team members who trusted me to do the job. I left a hole in the project that everyone thought was being filled. This created a hill 10 later when I had to be bypassed. The BDs staff had to be pulled

off their hats to do my post. We are now way late on the balance of the funds and it's a sit for sure. The entire WW staff is PTPd with my post.

1.I blew from fund raising for WW and wasted reg time.

2. One Sunday at the OT Committee meeting. I sat through the entire meeting without any create on WW happening at all. I listened to what the speaker was saying and thought a little (very little) about what I was going to say but I had not done any planning on what my approach would be or how I could best utilize the group or anything. I just sat in the chair with my thumb up my butt on WW. I got involved with the OTC stuff and pitched in to help on that, but when the time came to make my announcement I did so weakly and without real conviction for what I was doing. I just sort of half heartedly made an announcement then I ran out after the meeting to keep from having to confront anyone on the project for real. I felt like shit. I blew and I lost another full evening of production time and accomplished nothing. Another opportunity was missed that would have brought in at least $500 for the time I spent. Production time was lost, dev-t was created in me not wearing my hat.

OWs LISA MCPHERSON 11-7-95

1. I agreed to accept a status and a post for something I really wasn't interested in and took no responsibility for it knowingly and lied to Bennetta about my enthusiasm.

2. In the spring of 94 in Bennetta office, it was when she had returned from having completed OT8 and we were at the office late (it was on a Tuesday). She called me into her office to tell me about the Women's Association and what it was about. I thought it was sort of hum drum but pretended enthusiasm. She told me she wanted me to become a founding member and I agreed. I wasn't the least bit interested in the project but acted like I was. I gave her a check for $5000. The projects for this group were all dumped on Bennetta and she had to handle most everything on all projects taken, she is the ED and was overworked due to my lack of responsibility or participation. Things did not get done. Had I worn my hat and done something more activities could have been accomplished,, more dissemination could have occurred, more people could have been enlightened and introduced to the tech. Dissem minutes were wasted. Bennetta was stuck with everything. Time was missed with her family she otherwise could have spent.

1. I paid for and never took on the hat of a founding member or did anything that this status would dictate. I blew off my responsibility to this post and activity and hat dumped on Bennetta.

2. Once in the kitchen I think it was here at AMC last year. Bennetta had made a remark to me like "you need to start doing more and you need to be going out and speaking"..or something like that meaning I needed TO DO something. I grunted to myself and thought "no way man" but never said anything. I just blew off what she was saying and thought I would just leave all that up to her. I would assume a more comfortable role in her shadow just doing what I was told. I blew off what she said and never planned to execute on it at all in spite of my high status in the group.' I changed the subject. I personally aside from attending a few meetings have accomplished nothing in this group. No production from me whatsoever and Bennetta has had it all do do alone. The other group members were forced to pick up my slack. Many people who counted on me in the group were let down and confused as to my real position as I am an OL, especially being as close to Ben as I've been. Production was lost that cannot be made up. Opportunities were missed to bring people closer to the tech. I set a bad example and may have negatively influenced others that made them get the idea they could just pay to join and then do nothing since that is what I did. Bennetta was left to do it all alone without me who was supposedly her friend.

1. I took on the hat of founding member to obtain status and recognition only but had no intention of producing what I needed to produce with that status. I blew off my responsibility.

2. The day I wrote the check here at AMC, it was in 94 around May. I was writing out the check thinking what status this would give me, $5000 is not a small ticket for joining a group and I knew I would

be looked up upon favorably by the Scientology community for having made this type of donation. I thought of this while I was writing the check and never considered what the obligation I had was that went along with it. I just committed without any cause for doing anything. I wrote the check as my substitution for having to do anything. All I sought in joining was the personal satisfaction and gratification along with "being Bennetta's friend". A post was left vacant on this org board. People who had counted on me to do something, namely Bennetta, were forced to pick up the hat I had agreed to wear. Dev-t was caused by my lack of activity because Bennetta had to wear all the hats and I could have picked up some with her. Uplines terminals know who the founding members are, they count upon those in high status to do things to take responsibility

of which I did neither. This set a bad example which could have impacted other upstat Scientologists into thinking it was ok to "just pay" and not do anything which is what happens sometimes.

1. As a founding member of the Women's Association I was minimally active and left the responsibility of all projects on Bennetta. I blew off my responsibility.

2. At one of our meetings at the Hibiscus at Flag when we were going over the org board and putting it together. I was sitting at the table and being quiet trying to be invisible. Everyone was speaking up and saying their part and contributing to the org board and I sat saying nothing and being completely a spectator. I noticed this and didn't do anything about it. I thought that the org board project really had nothing to do with me (ha ha). Instead of speaking up and becoming active in creating I just sat back and left it up to everyone else to do. Time was added to the project and we didn't get it done in the time it was hoped to be done by. Bennetta was stuck doing most of it herself. Others in the group struggled trying to get the figure out done and I did nothing to help so more struggling occurred as a result of my inaction. Spectatorism was condoned by my actions. Other projects were probably missed or not done because had I done my part I could have taken on the org board project and Bennetta could have gone and started something more.

1. Same as above.

2. In April of this year here at the office I stopped attending meetings altogether and went off to be a case. I decided one Monday that I had to go in session instead of being a group member and never went back. The group was left with all my hats to wear even if I wasn't doing much, what I could have done was dumped-on others. I set a bad example of an upstat Scientologist. The group was left in mystery as to what had happened to me. Bennetta had to do it all and didn't have me supporting her whatsoever so she was overworked and. missed much time with her family. This caused much Dev-t for Bennetta and the other group members.

1. I accepted a post at AMC without any regard for the level of responsibility and had no intention of really doing what I needed to do in order to make the post a success.

2. In February at Bennetta's house in her breakfast nook. She had asked me to come over to talk to her. I sat down and she told me about what her plan was to open up the magazine and that I needed to make a decision as to what I wanted to do. She explained to me what the game plan was and how much create was needed in order to make the project a success. She told me the commitment and how I would not initially be able to make as much perhaps as I'd been acustomed to but that there was no reason why I couldn't in a short period of time. I viewed the post and responsibility strictly from my own 1st dynamic advantages, income, and had no thought as to my 3rd dynamic responsibility to the project. I told her sure I thought I could do it and I wanted to do it and never confronted what my agreement really meant as far as what commitment I had made. I never took any responsibility to make the magazine successful. Thousands of dollars were lost as a result. Two other staff members hobbled along painfully for months and never really became established on the post. The partners at AMC, Bennetta, David and Jeff, who had given me the, opportunity and trusted me to do the job were shit on. They each suffered personal financial loss as a result of. my neglect. Jeff's plan to be able to do his bridge full time which has always been his goal was thwarted and he ended up being sucked back onto production even more than before I went into the area. Bennetta had to manage while doing all the other hats she had committed to including: BD HOW, OT Ambassador, FSM, BD AMC, MOM, FRIEND, this included trips to handle event flaps, trips to help friends in trouble, anything she was called upon to do she did so this added tremendous stress to every single other activity she had committed to. David got stuck with the MOM hat while Ben was doing her other things and he did not get to enjoy the pleasures or benefits of having put up hundreds of thousands of dollars into the company so we could all have a job. His personal income suffered. He was not able to do what he really liked and wanted to do like fish or spend time with his family. His companion,Ben, was stolen away having to handle flaps I created so he had to spend much time alone where he should have been with his wife. Ashley had to do much without her mom and may have gotten into some trouble because she was having to be responsible for more than she was really prepared for. This would have created more dev-t and problems for Ben, I know this happened because of the event the day at Ben's where Ashley got into the pool when she had promised she would not and it completely freaked Ben out but, she had to go and tend to what she had committed to.

1. I blew off what I needed to really look at and confront as far as accepting the responsiblity for the mag sales manager post and decided to do nothing and just decided to "glow" it right.

2. After I left Ben's the night I agreed to handle the magazine area I got in my car and drove off thinking "I wonder what all this will mean" and "I wonder how it is this will all work" signs in themselves that I had not really formulated a plan on what I would do once I had accepted responsibility for the post. Instead of then getting busy and starting to work it all out I went off doing something else, I think I just went home and dealt with my 2D (Kurt) and didn't give it another thought: I completely ignored the fact that I didn't know how I would take responsibility and then chose to do nothing about it. The results were as stated in the earlier OW of the disaster that ensued. I ended up back on my original post, Ronda and Brian Jordan were forced to move back to Dallas (the situation with Brian may have been able to be salvaged had I been doing my part) Cathy Hemphill had to leave our group which I know upset her. Ray was RPF'd, Posts were switched and confusion was rampant for many months while the order was put back in. We went way behind target on reaching our corporate goals.

OWs LISA MCPHERSON 11-8-95

1. I made a commitment and blew off responsibility for my 2D and intentionally wrecked Gary Bydlo's life to accomplish my own ID bonus points.

2. In July of 1982 I heard Gary Bydlo was on Jeff's phone in his office. I ran in and picked up the line and spoke to Gary. We had a good comm line from years past and it was still in tact. I told him I'd love to talk to him and to please call me at home that night. He did and we talked for a couple of hours. We decided to mock up a 2D. I did not look at anything as far as what I really needed and wanted in a 2D, what my PT obligations were, what I was willing to be responsible for in this activity-nothing. I just said yes, let's do it. It lasted about a month maybe two at the most. We went through a very uncomfortable period where things were strained and wierd and he was uncomfortable and I was too. He had to figure out what his next game plan would be without any notice or income. He was in rough shape as a thetan and I just pushed him out. We had an ARC break and ruined what once was a perfectly good comm line.

1. I had sex when I really knew it was not the thing to do and was out-ethics.

2. When Bydlo moved in with me in Dallas around Sept 92. The first night he came to my apartment and we sat on the couch talking. We got along fine. It got late and time to go to bed. I wasn't comfortable just jumping into the bed and having sex with him and I never told him. We had sex and it was good but I felt wierd about him afterwards. I never told him. The relationship declined from there and ended up lasting only a few weeks and then I ordered him to leave. Our comm line was ruined and it was once a very theta comm line.

1. I agreed to mock up a 2D which was out-ethics.

2. In March of 94 at the Sand Castle parking lot. I had met Kurt there with one of his friends. He originated that he wanted me to spend the night with him. A red flag went up in my mind and I told him no, that I didn't think that was a good thing to do. I told him that I didn't think we had known each other long enough to be having sex. He turned away as if contemplating something very serious and then turned back to me and said "something about this is not okay, you say no but the truth is we have already started so what is the deal?" I looked at that and said ok, so what you are saying is that we both know we have already mocked it up so to sit here and say that we haven't or that we need more tithe is bullshit, is that it? He said yes. I told him I understood but that I wasn't just interested in jumping into his bed (which was a lie) and that I was looking for someone to marry so is that what he was interested in? I could see he wasn't expecting that and sort of squirmed on it. He admitted that he wasn't ready to just get married but that he definitely had it as an intention for the future and we could work towards that. I agreed to the arrangement and I went to his apartment and waited on him (he was taking a friend of his back to the FH). I still had a comm cycle going on in my head at the time about what was I really doing and was it the right thing to do and what would Bennetta think. He said he wanted to look at getting married so that should make it ok. The fact that I had to "make it ok" was an indicator right there. That is how Kurt and I started our 2D. It was a very unpleasant year afterwards. We suffered across our dynamics with him riot certain of what to-do with me and vice-versa. This created dev-t for us both and for Bennetta who was there helping to coach me along when .I needed guidance. It ruined mine and Kurt's comet line and cost much time and effort in trying to put together. a relationship that was never aligned admin scale wise. Any break up is enturbulating and this one was that for sure. I had a good comm line with his parents which was destroyed. We had mutual friends and those comm lines were cut as a result of my mishandling.

1. I had sex when I knew it was out-ethics.

2. When I was 13 in my bed at home. I had been talking to my brother's friend, Gary for several days and we had been creating some heavy 2D flows. Two of my closest girlfriends had recently had sex and were bragging to me about how they had "done it". I had sex with Gary for the reason of keeping up with my friends and no other reason. It was on a Sunday afternoon around 1:30 pm in my bed. I hated it, it hurt and I was horribly disappointed. I withheld it from him. After it was over I felt yucky, like I had been slimed. My comm line with him was awkward from that point forward and I felt like a slut. I lost my integrity on the 2D. From that point on I was less and weakened on this activity and continued to pull in one disaster on the 2D after another.

1. I played a sex game with the neighbor and knew it was something very preverted but did nothing to stop it.

2. When I was about 5 years old at Mr. Pollards house. I had gone over to walk their dog "Tuffy" and he invited me in the house. He told me he wanted to play a little game with me and did I want to play? I said sure. He had always given me candy and Pepsi so I thought maybe I could get some more. We went into his den towards the back of the house and he sat me down on 'the sofa and blind folded me. He explained the game and how it would work is he would put something in my mouth that I needed to suck on. The more I sucked he said, the more it would begin to taste like a tootsie roll sucker. He said that I had to suck real hard in order to taste it. The first time we did it I recall thinking what ever it was he stuck in my mouth sure didn't taste like a tootsie roll but I sucked on it anyway. I sucked and sucked and never did I taste a tootsie roll or anything that even resembled it. He encouraged me to keep--sucking that it would happen but it never did. I told him a couple of times I couldn't taste it and I even gagged a couple of times. I thought this was wierd because I didn't get it. I left the blind fold on and just did as I was instructed in spite of the fact that what was being promised was not happening. I left about 30 minutes later feeling disappointed that I had not tasted the sucker like I'd been promised. This went on for about a week, at least 3 more times and each time I tasted no sucker. The last time I got aggravated and too curious to bear and when we started the game he blind folded me as usual but instead of keeping my eyes closed tight I opened them just enough to see under the fold. I turned up my perceptions and heard a zipper. I saw something come out of his pants from the blind fold and pulled it off because I knew this was something wierd. He quickly zipped up his pants and I quickly ran home. He was allowed to be perverted and play a game he had no business playing. I did report it to my mom who called his wife and they had a great big fight and didn't come out of the house for 3 days. Mom said his wife beat him up pretty bad, he had two black eyes. This created much enturbulation in their family. My mom was freaked out. The comet line with the neighbor was destroyed and they had once been good friends. My mom had a withhold from my dad about the whole thing.

OWs LISA MCPHERSON 11-9-95

1. I wasted resources and blew money without considering what my personal obligations were first.

2. In Oct the night I went to see Greg Moore to reg him for WW in the fitness center. I was on the treadmill and it was about 10:23 pm when Micky walked by. I stopped him and told him he needed to reg me for the Responsibility Tapes and that I was holding him personally responsible to make sure that occurred. He promised he would. He asked me when I could get them and I told him I couldn't pay for them all at once but that I had the ability to pay $100 towards them until they were paid. I made this big deal about it and how he had to track me down and 8C me to get the cycle. I told him I'd bring $100 the following night and he had to find me. He said he would. The following night I was around but I never saw him. I got ready to go and went to see Sonya. I told her how I had this game mocked up with Micky for these tapes and that he was supposed to have gotten the money from me but he didn't so I was giving it to her instead. I told her the game and that she should tell Micky too bad, she got it. She invoiced my $100 and I left. On my way out I saw Mickey and told him I'd waited but I didn't see him so I gave the money to Sonya. Two weeks later I didn't have enough money to pay my rent and ended up paying late fees.

1. I broke an agreement with an SO member.

2. That same night as above when-I saw Mickey at the base right outside the elevator when I left Sonya's office. I had promised him the night before that I'd flow him $100 towards my responsibility tapes but he had to find me. He did find me around 11:00 as I was leaving the org. I had already given the money to Sonya. We had no specific time on when he was to find me, just that he was. I jumped the gun and gave his money up before the night was over so he ended up with the loss but not really, he did his part, I didn't do mine. He was $100 commission wise poorer and I commited an overt on him lessening our ARC. I actually felt wierd when I saw him but I quickly justified it.

1. I blew from an SO member

2. The night at Vic Salsa's office when he was trying to reg me for a donation for the IAS, it was in February 95. I had gone to him so he could give me a briefing. He did and I was only interested in what he could contribute to me, not what I could contribute to him. I had already committed to 250.00 per pay period to the IAS and considered that plenty for now, I actually had no idea how much I could truly have contributed because of my out-ethics on my personal finance lines. When he began asking me for a bigger contribution I ridged on him, he was missing my w/h of not having my finances under control. I told him flat out "i didn't, borrow money!" and made him wrong for asking me to. He knew I could do more and so did I but I refused to confront it. We went out of ARC and I stood up to blow, he tried to keep the ARC in and the comm cycle in but I blew off his comm line. I never sent in my already promised $250 after that point and got off my IAS payment schedule from that point forward. I lost my comet line with Vic (not according to him but as far as I was concerned I had damaged it), I wasted money that I had promised to the IAS, I lowered my affinity with the IAS as a group by committing overts on them.

1. I abandoned my own finance hat and gave it to someone else to be responsible for.

2. In June of 94 at Kurt's place. I agreed to turn my finance hat over to him and let him be responsible for my money and disbursements. We discussed what the FP would be for us as a 2D. I kept trying to blow from it, telling him that he just needed to figure it out and whatever he said was fine, I didn't care. We worked it all out and I ended up with $100.00 per month as a clothes allowance, the only real thing I asked for over and above what my ordinary expenses were. I gave no thought to it, just said ok that's fine with me. He set it up so that my Bridge APs would be on the same schedule as his, not according to what was successful for me but what was successful for him. Again I said fine and went along with it. We ended up in a big knock down drag out fight later because I changed my mind after talking to a friend (who I had made responsible for this decision as well) and told him that what we had agreed to would not work and I wanted to do it a different way, which happened to be an overt for him as he didn't run his finances the same way as I did. Our ARC was severely damaged, we never could resolve it because I wouldn't spit out the truth on what my disagreement was. My w/h kept being missed on how I wasn't taking responsibility for my own finances nor did I want to. Bennetta was dev-t'd in having to intervene. Many more arguments and problems ensued from this.

O/W I DECIDED TO MAKE BEN RESPONSIBLE FOR MY FINANCES. [scribbled out text ensues: "I dumbed my finance hat on Bennetta."]

2. Right after Kurt and I had done this work out on our finances I had gone shopping with Bennetta the following weekend. We were driving in her car to the mall and I happened to mention the fact that I only had $100 to spend. She began asking questions as to why that was. I told her what Kurt and I had agreed to and she had a tough time understanding it. She asked me lots of questions to help me to see what I.was doing but I refused to look. I never intended to take responsibility for the decisions I had made so I blew off what.she was trying to get me to look at. Then I began shifting the responsibility to her looking at what she thought I should do instead of what I wanted to do. From what she pointed out to me I concluded that "what she wanted me to do" was blab. She ..had pointed out that I made mega bucks that I was in a personal condition of power that I had been applying my conditions just fine up to that point and why did I need all of this dictation and budgeting and so forth? I ignored the truth of what she was saying and pinned the responsibility solely on her. After our shopping trip I went home to Kurt's. I had looked at everything Bennetta had told me and decided that what she really thought needed to happen was I needed to be able to spend as much money as I wanted and that for me to agree to anything else was wrong. That was not at all what she had said but it is what I dubbed in. I sat down on the floor in the living room and told Kurt I needed to talk to him. I told him that I had looked at what we had agreed on regarding our finances and that I couldn't keep the agreement to only $100 per month on a clothes allowance. He asked me why and I told him that I made enough money that I should be able to spend as much as I wanted to. He ridged on this being correct, as his policy and conditions on finance were far away from mine and he operated on a whole different system than I did. We instantly went into a games condition of me making him wrong for how he operated and him making me wrong for the way I operated. Nothing was accomplished as far as bringing us closer together. We suffered a long and arduous ARC break, this caused Dev-t on our 2D and my 3D (my post production is always affected when I have any other flaps in any life going on), this put him further out of ARC with my group as he associated Bennetta with AMC as she is an exec of this group.

1. OW I DECIDED TO NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR MY FINANCES AND FORCED BEN TO BE [Scribbled out text ensues: "I let Bennetta be blamed for my no responsibility on my finances."]

2. The day Kurt and I had a confrontation about my disagreement on how our finances would be handled. I had abruptly announced in a very self righteous waythat I had changed my mind about what we agreed to and that what we had decided would not work at all for me. I'm sure this came as a great shock to him as just the week before I had not expressed ANY form of disagreement whatsoever and had just given it completely over to him to handle in complete and total ARC. Now all of a sudden out of the clear blue sky, just so happened to be after I spent a full day with Bennetta Slaughter, I come up with this flap about how I completely disagree with how the finances are to be handled. What else was he supposed to think? Bennetta had obviously been meddling into our affairs according to what he could see! He immediately said something to this effect like "it sure seems odd that just last week you were ok on this and now you spend the day with Bennetta and it's all for shit". I jumped on that very defensively only solidifying his suspicion that Bennetta had interfered. There could have been no doubt whatsoever no matter what I said that Bennetta was the one who stirred up trouble on this finance issue with us. His ARC with her was lowered, his ARC with our AMC group was lowered because if the senior exec is working against him then surely she's got everyone else here working against him too. He knew she is the OL of the group. Bennetta was made out to be a bad guy and she never knew it.

1. I gave Kurt the finance hat then I yanked it away from him causing trouble for him, our 2D me and my 3D.

2. One Saturday in July 94 at Kurts place, Kurt and I decided to co-mingle our money. This was something he considered to be important and I went along with it as it took my responsibility for my finances and directed it to someone else. We agreed that he would manage the money and pay all the bills and I would just make money and deposit checks: We spent a good deal of the afternoon working on it, mainly him though as I kept rabbiting from the activity and just telling him whatever he said was fine, just let me know how things were going to be. He consulted me on every matter, every bill, every disbursement, every agreement and each time I'd just say, I don't care, whatever you say is fine. He worked everything out and did a great job. I did not have to worry about anything on this hat any longer. I turned my checkbook over to him, all my bills and the amounts owed and he completely took responsibility for the hat. One week later I went shopping with Bennetta and came home and announced to him that what we had worked out would not do for me at all and that I wanted to just spend as much as I wanted to spend and he just needed to get over it. He wasn't exactly thrilled with the idea and became upset. I became more "right" in my decision and.just asserted myself even harder until he didn't have a chance. He gave up and gave the hat of my finances back to me. We had many discussions about this and got absolutely nowhere so we wasted much time. We had an ongoing ARC break on this issue that never was resolved. He was confused at why I would do this to him and never got any explanation so he is still left with the confusion. He was ripped off a hat he was wearing well which was a wrong condition to him.

1. I knowingly violated my condition on my own finances and dumped my hat without making my condition known.

2. When I was having a 2D with Kurt in June of 94 we agreed to co-mingle our money. This decision was made in his bedroom one night. I knew from discussions we had on how he spent money that he was more frugal than me and that he operated on a whole different condition than me in this area. When he wanted something he cut back, this worked well for him. --He paid for his bridge in big chunks at the end of the year which was the best way for him due to his income schedule and what would allow him the greatest tax benefits. I knew he considered his credit cards to be a savings. Not something I could do since I didn't have credit cards but it worked well for him. These were major differences in our finance op basis which I knew about and chose to ignore. I never told him what my op basis was on my money (because there wasn't really a standard one!) and just turned everything over to him to handle. As a result, the wrong condition was applied to my finances and I flapped later. Kurt had no idea what the real upset was and was left in mystery. We had a perpetual 2D flap over this and never came to any understanding whatsoever.

1. O/W I DECIDED TO THROW OUT MY CONDITION ON FINANCE [Scribble out text: I DECIDED TO THROW OUT MY CONDITION ON FINANCE.]

2. When I was 16 in Dallas. My dad had helped me to set up a savings and showed me a simple way to establish credit quickly which I would need for things later in life, like buying a car etc. He suggested that I put 50.00 every paycheck into a savings-account until I had accumulated $500.00. Then I should go to the bank and make a loan for $300 against the money and then pay it back using the savings if I got into a bind but otherwise I should use the money I earned to pay it back. I saved the $500. I borrowed the $300. I used the savings to pay back the loan on time and established credit. I squandered the balance at $50. a pop each week until my savings was completely depleted. I blew the money on frivolous stuff, anything I wanted I just bought until all my savings was spent. I had absolutely nothing to show for it. I had credit but I had no savings. I never re-established any kind of savings whatsoever. Had I just maintained my savings at $50 per

paycheck like I had over the past 20 years I would have accumulated 26,000. So I have wasted 26,000, at least. I ruined my future savings and credit eventually due to this out ethics.

OWs LISA MCPHERSON 11-10-95

I IGNORED WHAT I SAW [Scribbled out text: "I decided to be reasonable about collectin money for WW and stopped the money from coming in."]

. Last night.at the HGC in front of Debbie Ward. I was going to talk to Glen, a chiro from Ohio about a dono and Debbie said "he doesn't have any money" rather sympathetically, like I needed to not bother asking him for any. She said that she had told him even as poor as she was she was donating $100 so he should do $25. I walked away and decided that Glen wasn't a cycle and I decided to go into sympathy with the both of them. I did not ask Debbie WHERE was the $100 she was going to donate and went up to Glen and told him I did not intend to cause him to ridge up on the cycle and that I knew he was already a great contributor and how I was going to make it ok that he not contribute. The truth of the matter was he did indicate to me as a cycle and the fact that he ridged only indicated I was missing SOMETHING on the cycle. He ran and I let him get away. This wasted more time on regging, I invalidated Glen, I let Debbie Ward be out ethics (if she is on OT7 and a local business owner and can only afford $100 she probably isn't applying conditions) I blew a cycle.

I REFUSED TO FOLLOW CORRECT INSTRUCTIONS AND CAUSED DEV-T [Scribbled out text: "I decided to be reasonable about reaching a promised commitment and stopped the cycle from going thru last night."

2. Last night at the FH in the reg reception area. I had decided earlier that I was going to get the Clair Guignon cycle done last night no matter what and had promised Katie it would be a done cycle that she did -not need to go with me - she volunteered. I went to the base and first thing I did was Q & A with what Clair had instructed me to do. She had told me to contact Harvey Jacques over the phone earlier, which I did not query I just. made a note of it: I had a question as to what he had to do with.the cycle and just dubbed in he must be the person at the org, who is over books. The question came up 2 more times before I left and each time I was -also puzzled at who he was but did not query it. I finally got an answer that he was over planetary dissemination so I dubbed in that my buddy, Rudy could help me so I went to the org and found Rudy instead of Harvey. Rudy instructed me to go to the bookstore and just tell them that I needed to debit out an account $5000 for the books which I did. I called Clair and told her the cycle was done and she just needed to call the bookstore to debit her account. I waited about an hour for her. to call and she had not called back. I called her again and left a message that I was waiting at the bookstore and wouldn't leave until she called so I wouldn't miss her. Within 5 minutes she called back and told me that there was an apparent confusion on the cycle and that the cycle was not a debit from her ordinary book accout which is why she had instructed me to speak with Harvey, she said it was quite honestly a huge dev-t cycle and that Harvey had agreed to help in situations like this. She had paid for a mission book package which she wasn't using and that is where the money was coming from. She said to go and find Harvey and tell him what she wanted to have done and he would help. I went to reception and told Cathy I needed to speak with Harvey. I TR3'd it twice and finally Cathy came back and told me "Harvey said it was very important that he speak with you but he is not going to be able to tonight and that I could come see him Friday after lunch". I said OK and left. I did not get the product.

1. I DID NOT DO WHAT I HAD PROMISED MYSELF I WOULD DO. [Scribbled out text: "I decided to be reasonable about getting the product and stopped a donation cycle."]

2. The night I met Greg Moore at the HIBO. I was sitting across from Barclay Bean who had joined me and Greg walked up because I had from an appointment to see him that night. Instead of going for my product I got off into telling them my win I had just had. Time ran out and Greg had to leave to go somewhere else. The particle went out of control and I didn't handle it. I finished eating and chased him down again. He was leaving and going in session. I waited for him almost and hour and when he came back and sat down with me instead of going for the product I decided to get him to tell me about his L-10 wins which he did. He was plainly pooped after having had a long session so after he got finished telling me his wins then he said he was tired and had to leave. I started telling him about the project and he went BIs, he told me he just wasn't interested in it and couldn't do anything on it. I decided that is because he was tired and let him go home. I didn't get the product.

1. I CONSENTED TO AND COMMITTED 3P ON A SCIENTOLOGY CELEB [Scribbled out text: "I allowed someone to third party a Scientology celeb, Carmen Lara, and did not stop it.]

2. Back when I first started working on the project, Bill McCann had a comm line with a lady, Cotty Rendon who-was a major contributor from years before. It was in September on a Monday night in the kitchen at AMC. Bill was going over the names he had collected money from before. He gave me Cotty's name and said he had the best comet line with her and that he could call her. He mentioned that her partner, Carmen Lara, was not an easy cycle and he really didn't think we should approach her. He said he did not believe Carmen would be good to go to as she was not the one who had agreed last year, it was Cotty. I did not query this at all, I just dubbed in that Carmen was a smuck and wouldn't play the game and she would not be interested in talking to us. From Bill's comment I decided that she was rough and out of ARC. This stopped all reps from coming to her, stopped her flows to the project, stopped her ability to contribute to the project, invalidated her past contributions to the project as she was directly involved in the dono and it was not only Cotty who contributed but Carmen as well and this was well known.

1. I decided to covertly reg Cotty Rendon behind Carmen Lara's back.

2. Once I had decided that Carmen was a "worthless cycle".:I. never even bothered to try and call her. Instead I decided to go around Carmen and try and covertly pull off a dono from Cotty behind her back. I had intentionally not contacted her deciding she would have CI on the cycle and therefore should not be enlightened. This cycle jammed from the beginning and would not move an inch. I could not get Bill to call Cotty, I could not get to Cotty even by way of another who had no overts on her. The cycle shut down completely. No production occurred. This created Dev-t for me, Bill McCann, Gloria, Cotty Rendon's staff (taking messages and handling traffic we were putting on Cotty's lines), Bennetta, the fund raising.

[NOTE, on the TIF file up 6 lines in the left hand column, it said in handwriting "Time? place? form? event?" It looks like different hand writing than the previous one. It looks like someone is critiquing her write up.]

1. I W/HELD THAT I HAD S/G GOING ON CONCERNING CARMEN LARA. [Scribbled out text: "I decided Carman Lara could only contribute $5,000 which put CI and DEV-t on the contributions to the Winter Wonderland project."]

2. On Saturday I received Carmen Lara's name from Laura Betterly, a local FSM. She was passed to me as being a completely in ARC high toned lady. I was very anxious to meet her and tell her about the project. I had promised Bennetta I would check in with her that afternoon to tell her what I'd gotten done. I called her from the HGC and told her what I'd accomplished. I told her I'd gotten Carmen Lara's name from someone but I didn't know who she was. Ben told me this was Cotty Rendon's partner. I immediately withdrew and decided I had to "figure out a way to handle the cycle". All Ben said was that "she is Cotty Rendon's partner" and I flinched. I immediately had a problem. (arc breaks, problems, out ruds, hmmm could there be s/g to this?) and from that point forward I had CI on the cycle. I went back in my mind to the comm cycle I had with Bill McCann earlier and what we had decided to ask Cotty for (which was $5000) and decided that is all I could ask Carmen for. I stopped the forward progress of Winter Wonderland by cutting across the reg lines with arbitrary decisions.

1. I REFUSED TO WEAR MY HAT AND DO MY JOB OF RAISING MONEY FOR WW. [Scribbled out text: I decided to se up a circuit and use this instead of being there myself and comunicating on a reg cycle. I used the circuit and blew the cycle.]

2. On Wednesday I had an appointment with Carmen Lara to talk to her about Winter Wonderland. I Q & Ad with whether or not I was going to be there or just set up a circuit before I did the cycle. I decided to be there but to first use a covert line of bullshit to get her into comet with me. She went into comm with me very easily, probably would have anyway. I had my attention on bullshitting her instead of what she was saying. She communicated quite overtly that she was a million dollar contributor, that she had money coming in regularly from Mexico, that she only kept a small amount of money here for her accomodations which was around $100,000. This all was before the fact of me, asking her for a donation. Instead of deciding based on what she told me her goals were, I decided based on what I had decided earlier of what I could confront asking her for (which was only the amount she had given the year before), that I should just ask for $5000. As I went into the part of the reg cycle where I ask for the money, I said to her "we are almost finished raising money, in fact, what we need right now is only $12,000 and we are done. Now there is no way we would ask you for the entire amount but I would like to know what you would like to contribute to the project?" this is where I set up the circuit and I disappeared. She did not answer my question and I missed it. She said "what are you asking me to contribute?" this required my arrival back so I came up to the surface and computed her question and fumbled and jerked around in my space as to how I could answer. Now I'm back with my bullshit, I said "well, since you are doing so many other things, what I'd like to ask is for you to only contribute what you did last year which is $5000." I darted out again. She explained that she had to get more money from Mexico sent and that she needed to talk to her partner. I swear now I cannot recall what she said to give me the impression she was going to donate the $5,000, it could have been a dub in as well. She did NOT say anything like: yes, I will definitely donate $5,000 to your project and you may collect the check from me next Wednesday. That was not the comet. I do know she had to talk to her partner Cotty. She was going to propose that Cotty do 1/2 and she would do the other 1/2. It seems like she did mention something like, could we wait until next Wed for the money, I'm just blown on what she commed exactly. Later I had a Q&A on whether or not she was definitely going to do the $5,000 and Gloria confirmed yes, she was set on that. This created Dev-t for me, Gloria, Katie, Bennetta, Carmen and is still creating dev-t.

OWs LISA MCPHERSON 11-11-95

1. I intentionally broke a rule by refusing to follow instructions when I was being trained in life.

2. When I was 3, next to the chair in the living room at my house in the afternoon. I knew I was not supposed to be sucking my thumb. It was spoken about enough derrogatorily that I knew it. was downstat and forbidden in our family. Other kids did it but I was not allowed. I decided to do it anyway. I sat down next to the chair and stuck my thumb in my mouth. It was wierd and I did not enjoy it at all. My mom caught me and put a diaper on me and filled up a bottle and walked me up and down the sidewalk three or four times in front of the neighbors house. I had a miserable relationship with my mom thereafter blaming her for everything and hating her my entire life for "what she had done to me". I refused to do what she told me and protested any order or direction she gave me. I stayed close to my dad and ser fac'd on my mom.

1. I ser fac'd on David.

2. At his house the day that I sat down and tried to bleed my case on him. He and I were talking about my case situation, I was trying to convincce him how I was not responsible and he would have no part of it. He would not say what I 'wanted to hear which was I was not responsible. I moved out from their house and went to stay with Brenda where I knew I would get sympathy which I did which made me worse.

1. I Pretended be interested in a 2D with Jeff when I really wasn't at all and led him on..

2. The night we went to the baseball game together with the Souths. I had not really wanted to go but did so anyway. We sat next to each other and left together. When he took me to my car we had been talking about the situation that existed concerning him being a 2D candidate for me. He asked me when we arrived at my car in the parking lot if we could kiss just to see what it was like. I told him yes and let him kiss me. It was very awkward and I did not like it but I never let him know. I just smiled and walked away leaving him with a no answer. He later originated to me on a few more occasions why it was that I was not interested in him and I never handled the origination which was to say "I am not interested in a 2D with you and never will be" so he could end cycle on it. It stayed mystery for him for years.

[A note says: "JUMPED TO NEW AREA." in a different penmanship that previous. Could be the EO.]

1. I encouraged and condoned Brenda to go out ethics on her 2D and contributed to her crashing across her dynamics.

2. When I was living with she and Doug on Reiger, this was in Oct of 89. She had routed off staff and was staying at home doing pretty much nothing while Doug remained on staff and I went out dancing everynight. I was living it up in a bar dancing and came home every night with stories of what all I was doing pure out ethics for what my situation at the time was. Brenda decided she wanted to join me one night and she went out with Sandi and I. It was on a Wednesday night at Cowboys and Sandi and I were both sort of shocked at what Brenda was doing there as she did not fit in at all and sort of looked like a sore thumb to us. She seemed happy enough and actually found a guy who she started talking to and ended up having an okay time. I recall having some attention on what was happening. I knew she was not really in ethics being there and I continued to comment about this to her but never took any real action to get her ethics in. She ended up dancing with me every night and going very out 2D to the point of divorcing her husband and ending up in a relationship which ended up to be a disaster. This affected all her dynamics and our relationship as well. I have continued to badger and bullbait her and treat her like shit and reduce her and invalidate who and what she is to the point of being gross. I have allowed her to continue to-be out ethics for 5 years and continue to struggle in life quite miserably.

1: I took advantage of Katie's friendship and wasted her time as an OT by leading her to think I was really trying to be responsible for myself when I wasn't; I intentionally misguided her and tried to stick my condition on her.

2. The day we worked together at Bennettas on my conditions. I had no intention of taking complete responsibility for myself and was still trying to lay myself at someone else's doorstep to wear my condition. I picked Katie and tried to run it on her. I was clinging to her desperately as if there-was nothing I could do and tried to pin my condition on her to no avail. I followed her around the whole day pretending to have her "help" me with my conditions while what I was really trying to do was get her to wear it so I wouldn't have to. I accomplished absolutely nothing and her entire effort was wasted. I abandoned my conditions because I had not really honestly done them anyway - once I saw that it was still my condition I went into apathy harder trying to not-is it. I fell .down the tone scale further and enturbulated Katie with my shit.

1. I wasted Katie's time as the MAA with my 2D out ethics by pretending to be interested in handling my 2D scene when what I was trying to do really was get Rick (my 2d at the time) in trouble.

2. I had a flap going on with my 2D just shortly after I got into Scientology, probably around November of 1983. I was involved in an out-ethics 2D in the first place so when it began to flap I ran to the Katie complaining about how bad it all was. I went into the Org with Rick and we spoke to Katie about what was happening, he had assigned me some condition or said that I had a liability condition to do to him which involved me going to every single one-of my past 2Ds and telling them I would never speak to them again, something absurd and I knew it was. Rather than just telling him he was full of shit which is what I knew to do, I drug him into the MAAs office and "got his withhold off." I was in no way intending to really get my ethics in, only to get Rick in trouble. My -out ethics on the 2D continued to excallate, I ended up contributing to Rick's demise by destoying our 2D in a very harsh and cruel fashion.

OWs LISA MCPHERSON 11-12-95

1. I lied to Bennetta

2. The day I walked into her office and got off the withhold that Kurt had asked me to marry him and I did not tell her first. It was in February, after his birthday. My stats were down and I had told the D/ED that I had a w/hold from Ben. At lunch before we sat down to eat I went in her office and told her I had something to tell her. I told her I had a withhold and then I told her it was that Kurt had asked me to marry him. She asked me why I had not told her, she being my very best friend. I lied and told her it was because he did not give me a ring. The truth was I really did not want a 2D with Kurt and was not telling anyone. We ended up with an ARC break, she was very hurt that I had not confided my good news to her and our friendship was damaged.

1. same as above

2. The night Bennetta asked me to come to her house so she could talk to me about the new magazine. We sat down and she told me what she needed and I was the person up for the position. I did not want the responsibility of the magazine and lied and said I did. I told her I thought it would be very exciting and I did not find it in the least bit exciting. I ended up with the hat which I did not want. I ruined my friendship with Bennetta and practically destroyed the company by not taking the hat.

1. same as above.

2. The night Bennetta asked me to join HOW She was excited about the possibilities of the group and what it could do on a Div 6 line and I lied and said I, thought it was great. I thought is was mediocre and joined anyway, signing up for a status which requires MUCH responsibility. I never put on the hat, I let Bennetta think I was on board when I wasn't leaving her to completely single hand the activity. She got hit with twice the amount of work she expected as I did not do-my part. The activity has not grown and prospered as it should have. Her reputation has suffered, she has been overworked and been forced to do more than she originally intended or agreed to.

1. I was dishonest about an ethics program Bennetta was helping me on and lied to her about my intentions in doing the program. I took advantage of her friendship and wasted her time.

2. When I was breaking up with David Haywood, it was in October of 1990 after she had spent time sorting out my difficulties on my 2D with David. I agreed to do an ethics program to get my shit together. I did not know what ethics was and never cleared the MU from my first day in Scientology. I was blindly doing a program with no responsibility for it whatsoever. I spent weeks writing up OWs and having Bennetta check them and read them but I was not making case gain and never told anyone. My 2D never really got sorted out although I lied and said it was. Bennetta's time was wasted where she thougth and was led to believe I was really a product. I spent months following this event fretting over David and worrying Bennetta with originations she was still having to handle. No real progress was made.

1. I did not clear my MU.

2. The first day on course in Scientology in the basic courseroom. I sat down on the Ups & Downs in Life course with Tim Collins and was having him help me. I was doping off and he came over to help me out. He asked me the definition of Ethics and I told him it had s/g to do with colored people, he showed me the definition and I told him I understood but I did not and never got it handled. My ethics never went in. I never applied conditions honestly, I never worked out my own life situations for myself and took responsibility for what I had done, I never honestly applied myself to the ethics tech fully to get the honest to goodness 1001 standard tech result. Massive amounts of Dev-t has been caused to me, course sups, ethics officers, friends, FSMs for not having handled this MU.

1. I went past an MU and lied that this occurred and did not clear it up instantly.

2. The first day of second grade. I sat down in the class on the third row second from the front, I was a good student and did not want to miss anything. The teacher wrote a word on the chalkboard which I did not understand. The word was VOWEL. I was blank on the meaning. She asked the whole class if anyone did not know the definition of this word and no one raised their hand. I did not know and I did not raise my hand. I ruined my education because from there on out I would not clear my words and I instead, would figure out the word from the text as I did that day in the classroom